Saturday, May 25, 2013

Beilieve, hah.

Okay

 

First of all, I don't think any God (he or she) really trolls facebook to see if you repost, then takes the time to do you a huge favor just because you did. Really? Do yourself your own favor, put some work into it.*

Secondly, Any God would be able to spell believe.

 

* one of the tenements of magic is that not only do you pray or wish for it, but you work for it too! You can't just pray for icecream and wait for it to magically appear, you've got to go to the store and buy it for yourself!

 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Thoughts of the depressed

When depression comes on, one of my major thoughts is "I am going to die alone". It is a very frightening thing. In concept.

Lately I have been fighting with terms in my life because I am leaving to far away. When and if I come back..what, if anything will still be the same?

I can count on my mommy and brother. They will still be my mommy and brother.

I can count on my Tricia..though we will have catching up to do, but we will catch up.

And there are other friends that will remain close, or closish...

But it is a fact of life that things change over time. And things are promised to change over time especially if there are no promises of " I will be there" or " my thoughts are with you". No promises means no commitments. No obligations. No nothing.

My mommy will die before me. Perhaps even my brother because he is older. My kids will have their own life and may or may not like me. My friends will have children and grand children.

I will go away, come back someday, see those that share heart strings with me.

I will grow old. Most likely alone, except for too many cats. I will die and decay. Become liquid soaking into my couch. My neighbors will notice the smell and the starving cats.

My only salvation in this depression is that I am angry. I picture myself rotting and someone who should have cared more having to deal with my decay. They will feel guilty and slightly nauseated. The smell will never leave them. I will feel no more.

Isn't depression fun?

Sunday, May 12, 2013

What we are doing with diet talk

We have done for hundreds of years. You think we would learn our lesson. After all, we burned our bras, got rid of girdles, and shunned the corsets.

 

Ouch.

You think we would look back at history and see how our constant body snarking messes with people.

You have to be severely brain washed by societal ideals about the womanly figure to wear this:

 

Unless, of course, you were just standing there and the hips held beer and bread.

 

But we do not learn. Our newest fixation is extreme thinness and thigh gaps. We name it "health" but that is a lie.

And sadly, I have a pregnant friend who is looking at how to lose fat while pregnant. Wtheck? Our society...that is what the heck. Taught her thin is the only pretty. Thin is the only healthy. That sucks.