Sunday, April 14, 2013

What are we doing to our children?

There was a post the other day on facebook about a transgender child at about six years old. (Sweden has introduced a third nongendered pronoun to avoid this) S/he was born a boy but identifies as a girl. It makes me wonder.

Does this child like the hair/dresses, etc that being a girl offers? What does being a girl mean? Can the child stay a boy, dress in dresses, perhaps even like other boys when grown up, and still be a boy?

In some Native American cultures, this child is considered normal, even special. I was happy to see that the community the child is living in acts the same way.

I think it is the labeling that disturbs me. The He She. The He wears pants and likes girls. The She wears dresses and likes boys. Why? Why the rigid gender rules? Why cant he wear dresses and like boys or girls and still be he? Or the third pronoun option if that is what the person chooses.

I think my issue is also that I was born a girl, identify as a girl, and fit into the I like boys category, so I don't fully understand all the details.

Anyway....

What the heck are we doing to our girls? Telling them they can be a superhero if they wear a tutu...

And this...

 

And why is this gendered? Dad cooks too.

Huh? I wear clothes to, well, be clothed. They can be outward statements of my personality, but they all make sense! They are clothing..to clothe people.

and men need to be strong and virile.

 

Stop lying to the kids. Let them be who they are.

 
 

Monday, April 1, 2013

Intimacy

In my opinion, intimacy should not be a spectator sport. Yeah, in my stupid times in life, I might have fooled around in public, made out in front of others (poor souls), watched a dirty movie, and tried to be risqué...but now that I know me, I know I abhor that behavior.

I hate strip clubs. I believe that it dehumanizes women. It makes them chattel, or steak. It brainwashes men into thinking women are all shaped like barbie and should twirl around naked solely for their titillation . Quite frankly, I don't believe that those women value or honor themselves. I sure didn't when I dressed like a stripper for men's attention.

I hate porn. It desensitizes people. It makes men believe that acrobatics is part of making love. It reduces the act of making love from the divine and sacred to the mundane. Again, it idolizes one body type, and dehumanizes women, they are now just a portal. I do not want to make love with a man who had one handed internet sex with other women that day, it is akin to cheating.

I hate society. I hate that we think that it is normal to sell bras and underwear via a commercial of siliconed starving waifs. I hate that we think we should sell burgers the same way. I hate that women, love, bodies, and sex have become daily sport rather than divine.

I hate that feeling this way now makes me "a prude", a negative thing...that I may never find a man in life who understands my feelings about this and agrees with or respects them, me. That I now have an internal battle going which is threatening my psyche.

I hate that I can't go back in time and explain this to my sixteen year old self, thirteen year old self, twenty year old self...etc. I hate that I can't tell this to my daughter because she is so far away. I hope that I instilled in her a better sense of self worth than I had.

I hope that my son has more respect and value for women as well. I hope he treats women, even siliconed internet women, like he would want a man treating his sister.

I hate that many men teach their sons that it s ok to think of women as meat, or sport, or chattel, merely there for entertainment and titillation. On earth only to fit the ideal mold of "hotness" and to make babies and clean house.

At this moment, I pretty much hate most men.