Wednesday, August 15, 2012

What's a girl to do?

I think I am experiencing a bit more anxiety. The school year is coming up, I realize that I will not have a long term sub job like I adored last year, and job opportunities are scarcer than milk in a turnip. Bad analogy.


That is what is available near me....see the numbers bigger than 0? Those are jobs for lunch ladies, nurses, special ed, japanese teachers, and softball coaches. None of which is covered by my Masters in education.

Oh, I still have my subbing job to look forward to; coming home every day to sit for hours hoping to win a job in the luck of the draw, dealing with behavior issues children like to have when the teacher is gone, never really getting into the meat and potatoes of teaching, never experiencing a-ha moments or watching the students grow and flourish. At least I don't have report cards or planning (which I actually enjoy).

I watch my brother get ready to run off with his cat to Oman where he has accepted a teaching job. He has taught in Los Angeles (ca), Long Beach(ca), China, Korea, Santa Cruz (ca), and now Oman. He has very few to no qualms about picking up and running across the world to teach. I am jealous.

I would be frightened to teach elsewhere. I would feel disconnected from my friends and family , upon whom I rely for emotional sustenance. I am certain boyfriend would not come, so I'd have to make a choice between a career or my man.

Somedays this feels like a riptide. Like a funnel. Hopeless. How can one possibly survive without a job, how can I get a job when none are available? Do I need to make a choice to leave? Am I stuck forever living in another person's house until and if California deems education important again?

Oh, and the student loan is asking me to start paying...oh joy.


1 comment:

Mom said...

It is a conondrum, is it not? Your turn will come, just hang in there!