Friday, May 27, 2011
Good things- You know, beside Me
I went on a walk the other night. Outside. Alone. Usually I would take a dog or walk on a treadmill at the gym while watching TV. this time I went out without anything just so I could think. After about an hour of a bitchfest in my head, I decided to sit down and think about things that have made me happy, and that make me smile when I think back on them. Things untainted by life or the people sharing the experience.
Sometimes that happens, you know? Like a beautiful trip to Jamaica could be tainted in memory because you shared it with people/ person who now make your skin crawl. Or the wedding pictures from the happiest day of your life are now unviewable because 'of him'.
What makes me smile and remains untainted (though oddly some of these should be tainted by recent and not-so recent events, but are not)
Kittens. Anything kitten. Any kitten I have known and loved (some I disappointed as an owner when I left ex and they ran away- but the times with them are still the best) (except when lily doesn't love me)
The beach at night. But only with a warm jacket. I can hear the waves now.
Dancing in the desert- alone- under the full moon. I can smell the sage, feel the breeze.
Feeling a loved ones arms around you and knowing everything is OK.
My mom's porch. Whether it is just with her, with my bro, or with others. Game night, or a glass of wine, or a cup of coffee. When I die, heaven will be my mom's porch.
The whole darn Butt trip my brother and I took.
Driving to my mommy's. My brother in the driver's seat, the radio tuned to out ipods (This American Life podcast), windows open, my barefeet on the dashboard. We bought black licorice crows candy- even though they are really green- Geoff wanted some so I dumped them into his cup that had ice in it. We decided we liked them on ice better. We hardly listened to the podcast because we had so much to share. real conversations are so rare in my life, but with my mom and bro, we always talk.
Tobin running around with a Coors Light box on his head. Nolan and Grayson following. The boxes' finger holes are eyes slits and the boys looked like a redneck buzz lightyear. Lany was buck naked probably covered in dirt and bugbites.
Texas, family, feet in the pool, margarita in hand, pipe in mouth, kids running around, and chickens eating popcorn off the porch.
Getting my education- I grumped about those nights at school sometimes, but I'd do it all over again in a minute.
Red cups, margarita machines, and my adopted family trying to play some trivia game. One of them yelling out HORSEFISH instead of seahorse.
Fireworks. The sparkly tinkerbell ones. The ones in your head when you are full of ideas. The ones in your heart when you are kissed.