Friday, May 27, 2011

Good things- You know, beside Me

I went on a walk the other night. Outside. Alone. Usually I would take a dog or walk on a treadmill at the gym while watching TV. this time I went out without anything just so I could think. After about an hour of a bitchfest in my head, I decided to sit down and think about things that have made me happy, and that make me smile when I think back on them. Things untainted by life or the people sharing the experience.
Sometimes that happens, you know? Like a beautiful trip to Jamaica could be tainted in memory because you shared it with people/ person who now make your skin crawl. Or the wedding pictures from the happiest day of your life are now unviewable because 'of him'.

What makes me smile and remains untainted (though oddly some of these should be tainted by recent and not-so recent events, but are not)

Kittens. Anything kitten. Any kitten I have known and loved (some I disappointed as an owner when I left ex and they ran away- but the times with them are still the best) (except when lily doesn't love me)

The beach at night. But only with a warm jacket. I can hear the waves now.

Dancing in the desert- alone- under the full moon. I can smell the sage, feel the breeze.

Feeling a loved ones arms around you and knowing everything is OK.

My mom's porch. Whether it is just with her, with my bro, or with others. Game night, or a glass of wine, or a cup of coffee. When I die, heaven will be my mom's porch.

Odell Butte.
The whole darn Butt trip my brother and I took.

Driving to my mommy's. My brother in the driver's seat, the radio tuned to out ipods (This American Life podcast), windows open, my barefeet on the dashboard. We bought black licorice crows candy- even though they are really green- Geoff wanted some so I dumped them into his cup that had ice in it. We decided we liked them on ice better. We hardly listened to the podcast because we had so much to share. real conversations are so rare in my life, but with my mom and bro, we always talk.

Tobin running around with a Coors Light box on his head. Nolan and Grayson following. The boxes' finger holes are eyes slits and the boys looked like a redneck buzz lightyear. Lany was buck naked probably covered in dirt and bugbites.

Texas, family, feet in the pool, margarita in hand, pipe in mouth, kids running around, and chickens eating popcorn off the porch.

Getting my education- I grumped about those nights at school sometimes, but I'd do it all over again in a minute.

Red cups, margarita machines, and my adopted family trying to play some trivia game. One of them yelling out HORSEFISH instead of seahorse.

Fireworks. The sparkly tinkerbell ones. The ones in your head when you are full of ideas. The ones in your heart when you are kissed.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Pretty pictures

and some not so pretty.....
I got a few new tattoos. One is an orobouros- (a snake eating her tail) but in a triple loop knot. The picture is incomplete because i added a spiral and a few dots to balance her between my uneven boobicles-

The second is a troll cross- to keep trolls away. Someday I want to research when trolls stopped being thought of as kind (they built churches with my ancestors) and started being thought of as mean and ogre-y. Was it that one troll who got cranky and attacked the billy goats Gruff that did it?I'm going to get my back touched up next (I have the triple moon and a pent in the middle) I need to decide colors for shading.

Someone gave me these for Bruumie:

I made this for a friend. It's from John Murphy's "Invasion of the plush monsters" and it's a purse!

I went to a gem faire near my home- this was only one table of hundreds. I bought myself some gifts because it was on Mother's day.

This is what I bought: Clockwise- there is a little lion/dragon/dog in the box at 12 o'clock. he's been glued to Bruumie to protect her from bad guys and bad vibes.
1 oclock- green turquoise earrings. Orange quartz (in a bag).Two necklaces- one green turquoise and one crystal (citrine?)- the silver parts come off to clip onto other necklaces! (each piece was only 3 bucks).Then a green/purple flourite point/ wand. Selenite wand. Green turquoise ring. and I think, citrine, crystal ball.

And- my 18 year old's foot- after surgery and 20 pins. He broke both ankle bones and a small bone in his foot. You know how fingers have 3 bendable parts? so do toes have 3 rows of bones (tarsals)- the third row had one broken in half that won't heal without surgery. Motorcycle (dirtbike) injury. He and his sister went riding instead of school, I believe, and he hit a bump or something and crashed. he was wearing full gear- even motorcycle boots.The surgeon must be related to Dr. Frankenstein.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


Niceness is a lost art form. as well as patience and communication. Sexy Boyfriend owns his own business. A large part of it is sending parts via phone or computer orders. These parts are often special ordered through a warehouse and mailed via UPS. So a lot of the orders' timeliness and state of arrival depends on outside sources. This sucks for boyfriend because he gets the flack.

Lemme tell you about recent orders: One man called to order 4 wheels and tires. He wanted to pay but couldn't get his credit card to work. He and SBF worked for a long while on getting the man just what he wanted. (SBF spends a lot of time on the phone with customers). SBF asked the man to pay through paypal. It's one of the easiest and safest ways to pay. He also like paypal better than dealing witht he credit card companies. Man grumped. He didn't want to use paypal. SBF said that man could easily use paypal without actually signing up for paypal. It is an option. Man yelled. Man in sisted he knew how it worked. Man grumped paypal had stolen money from him (this is a sign that man had a bad business deal in the past). Man kept yelling and pushing so SBF told man that was his only choice. Too bad so sad. Man tol,d SBF that SBF just lost a customer. Man then went online and purchased online from SBF for more money. I believe he had to pay through paypal too- but I could be wrong. Man's products were ordered against SBF's better judgement and sent to man. The box the products were in was smushed and products had a tiny ding in one of the four. Man grumped to SBF demanding $100 bucks off order. SBF, although it was UPS's fault, offered to trade the product for a new shiny one. SBF called the wheel and tire people, had a new one sent out (New one was then charged to SBF so SBF is now out money) as well as a call tag to return the dented product. Man calls SBF- he says he has no time to return dented product, though he will keep the new one anyway, and still wants money back!!!!!
I call this stealing. If I trade you the old dented product for a new shiny one and you keep both although you only bought one- you just stole from me. SBF has no way to fight this- no way to police this issue. Big auctioning companies online only allow you to rate seller- not customer.

Woman orders from online a pair of bicycle grips. SBF has 400 products online and tries to keep them updated but sometimes things slip through- like this one. Woman pays $16. SBF writes woman- "I'm sorry, those grips are backordered fromt he supplier- Do you want your $back, to order a different pair, or to wait?". No answer from woman. Woman complains to ebay so SBF has a strike against him. Woman writes SBF a letter "You are a liar and a cheat. I hope you live a crappy life. You suck"- or something very very much like this. (REALLY). SBF writes woman "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. I hope you have a nice day"...Woman writes back- "see you are a liar and a jerk" kind of letter.

What is happening to this world?People are way too spoiled and retribution happy!If you have a problem with a comapny, why can't people call the company and politely explain what they need before they go all crazy and punsihment wild? And why the yelling and name calling? and why expect more than you paid for? free stuff?

SBF is a sole owner of a company. The money the company loses comes from his pocket and depletes my friday night margaritas. He is also fair and worries about his reputation. If something goes out of his shop wrong or damaged, even if it is the manufacturer or shipping comapny who is at fault, SBF will do everything he can to make the customer happy. He will do everything he can to fix the problem.

But so many people do not let him. They just react. and the react harshly! Bullies! It's so easy to be a bully via internet, email, and phone, isn't it?

I bought a bag of waterballoons the other day. 6 of them were stuck together and unusable. I did not call the company and threaten to sue. If it were really important, I would have asked the store if I could have my money back or trade them for new ones. If I got $ back- I would not have requested more than I paid for them. If I traded for new ones, I would have not kept the old ones.
I went to the grocery store looking for booberry cereal. The store did not have any. I did not write them a nasty letter and tell them they deserved to live a crappy life. I did not call the better business bureau. I did not threaten to never go there again.

Patience, kindness, compassion- all of these are necessary to live together in harmony. All of these things are so rarely honed these days.

I'm juyst saying I am glad I am a sub. I don't have to deal with big mean people.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

I'm gonna throw this computer out da window

here's another reason I haven't been writing a lot- especially on facebook- my dumb cursor keeps thinking for itself- I mentioned how it sticks a word in the middle of another word, much like a turducken.
and I can't get on Igoogle anymore. and on google, my blogger doesn't show.
this netbook or my internet is playing with me to make me crazy. right now it tried to put playing in the middle of cursor
here's another reason I haven't been writing a lot- especially on facebook- my dumb cursor keeps thinking for itself- I mentioned how it sticks a word in the middle of another word, much like a turducken.
and I can't get on Igoogle anymore. and on google, my blogger doesn't show.
this netbook or my internet is playing with me to make me crazy. right now it tried to put "playing" in the middle of "cursor"
lemme type a paragraph and leave it like the cursor left it:
dog. The dog just sat there even though a be the Fox smelled good and not fox over him. crazy huh? the dog should have totally tried to catch the fox but he didn't. Maybe he was old, or blind. or couldn't smell the fo. Mayfox was jum
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy

see what I mean? It should have said:
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. the dog just sat there even though the the fox was jumping over him. Crazy, huh? The dog should have totally tried to catch the fox but he didn't. Maybe he was old or blind or couldn't smell the fox. Maybe the fox smelled good and not foxlike.

how can I write when my cursor is trying to make me insane?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

weekly update

I tried to get on yesterday to post a quote from Martin Luther King Junior about not celebrating the death (murder) of even your enemies- but google and blogger have been acting wonky on my home computer as of late. That and my ever moving cursor makes computering difficult.

So, Today, I am in a classroom about a block from the beach. It is sunny and hot here. I am trying not to get the urge to run down the street when I am supposed to be working. It's lunch break, so this is allowed.

Last week's post about my good friend and mentor, David, was pretty fun for me (Lisa pointed out I was a bit passive aggressive- and it prompted me to think about other times in my life- I am! I am also really good at pointing the finger at p/a people and ignoring that I am as well at times- It was good thinking for me). I do have to give the dude credit, though. He's right about calories in/calories out- and also about getting moving. He doesn't know me, or you, or any of our extraneous circumstances, though, and he sure doesn't know how to be nice or tactful. and- I still wouldn't go out with him if he tried to pick me up in a club when I was at my fittest.

Funny thing is, I had been making changes already to my lifestyle. I had already joined a gym. I have a trainer for a few sessions. I had been watching my calories for weeks. I try to stick around 1300 a day but I think that may still be too much for me for weight loss.

He doesn't know my (or your) basal metabolism. He doesn't know my allergies or how my body processes carbs/protiens/fats. He didn't check my medical chart to see that I am missing a gall bladder and that I am hitting 40 soon. Or that I suspect I might be starting perimenopause.

This is why generalizations don't always work.

But- I am feeling good- sore, achy, and some days I can't move my quadriceps, but good. It's warmer so lighter foods appeal to me anyway. And I have realized a lot of this feeling sorry for myself and motivation to lose weight is not [only] about health. I'm vain. I want to look good in a bikini. I want to be the best looking me I can be. I said it. I have a flaw. (wink).

How's your May been so far?