Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A man's opinion- a real man's comment on my blog

I was gonna post a comment about the word "just", or a pick of my new tattoos, or some other wonderful happy witty tidbits, but we will have to do that tomorrow. Today I am going to review a comment that was placed on an extremely old post of mine- I just found it in my moderation box today- he commented last week.

" i dont know how i stumbled on your blog, o yea i was googling extremly obese ppl and that pic came up. Look you are clearly obsessed with your weight and about being fat. Btw you are fat not really obese but yes you are noticably overwieght. as a man if i saw you in a club i would quickly pass you up. My point is since your clearly obsessed with being thin then just do it. Go to the gym, exercise, restrict your diet to less calories in than out. What will statistically happen is you may start a diet and exercise plan then most likely will quit shortly after that. (its why gysm give away so many 2 week and 1 month trials) i hope you do start but odds or most of you who read this wont even start exerciseing. Anyway just do it. GO! stop blaming niptuck and hollywood and plastic surgeons. they didnt make you fat you made yourself fat through your actions (or inaction). You just sound really childish and unappealing to men. take my advice. And most women read this blog so they can feel alittle better about their own bodies but they are all wasting time that could be spent at the gym. I know, i usta be 272 pounds, now im down to 160. losing weight was by far the hardest thing i have ever done ever. but in retrospect it was totally worht it. I mean i am really hot now. and i feel great too."

MY REPLY~
Dear David (his name), I am so glad you found my blog and felt free enough to express your opinion. I am also glad that you felt strong enough to generalize me and "how I am" by merely reading a partof the blog that I use to get out my frustrations. I especially love that you feel I am petty and childish, and that you think I am a big fat quitter or lazy. I am tantalized that you spend time looking up pictures of obese people. I will cry at nights about you, or someone as fabulous and hot as you, passing me up at the clubs that I don't go to. I really love how you read all my posts and looked for the deeper meanings, especially the ones about TV shows that glorify the emaciated body. I adore how you think so highly of yourself that you don't bother to capitalize I. I am sure my friends, my readers, love how you clumped them all into the fat lazy category, too. They will also appreciate your stunning wisdom on how going to the gym and counting calories will automatically make everyone thin and hot. Or how you linked thin to hot (thus perpetuating the whole point I was making).
and oh, dear David, the man who keeps his profile hidden even though he carries such wisdom and sage advice, I would pass you up at the club merely because you are an ass.
Love, the girl who doesn't give an eff what you think.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Men - humph

BF was telling the old codger and I about a friend of ours- apparently he's gonna be a daddy (the friend- not BF or codger). The friend looks like 14 yr old boy, so it makes me giggle that he actually had s-e-x. Oh dear.
Anyway- what are the normal questions one should ask when finding out this info? Who's the girl? Have you met her? are they happy? do they have jobs?
What does old codger ask? "Is she good looking?"-
oh Gawd.
Define good looking. Define it, old man, to this pmsing bloated woman who has cut calories to no avail. To a woman who has heard things like "Kirstie Ally is a good dancer but she's fat now- she dances good FOR A FAT GIRL" or- "man she has a pretty face, too bad her legs are thick".
Hey- have you looked in the mirror lately? and your personality ain't winning any points either. Neither is your grammar (ain't).
I'm sick of feeling like shit because society tells me that I have to be thin to be attractive. yes, i understand that both my weight and my attitude are my own responsibility- but quite frankly, I suck at both- especially when I am pmsing, and when beer is nummy.
I'm sick of friends who post pictures of starving models with enhanced boobs on their facebook pages. sheesh. If they are healthy and have a brain- go for it- brains are sexy. So are firemen who save kittens. Or librarians. Or teachers *
and now- I'm supposed to slip into a bathing suit. Luckily, I still love my Marilyn Monroe one piece I bought last year, with rouching, a halter top, and suck in the baby tummy panties.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

OOFTA!

I'm looking for words that mean 'Oh dear" or something like that. OOFTA, my mother says, is similar to OH dear in Norwegian. I also have Oy Vey (yiddish), Dagnabbit(Old man), Hijole (spanish) and AY ya-aye ya-aye (who knows). Someone said Acht du liebe , though translated to 8 you love, meant something like oy vey. What do you say? What did you parents say? what, my multinational friends, are some other ways of saying this?

Friday, April 15, 2011

My poor poor mommy

New editor wasn't letting me post- it just kept spinning and spinning like a neurotic hamster!
Speaking of hamsters, this is my Ruby Dooby Doo

Any how, the title, my poor poor mommy was something I realized yesterday- my mommy is so patient. A few times a month, I stop by the grocery store on the way home from work with no idea what I need to make that I have in my mind- Yesterday, for example, I decided I wanted to make a no bake pie. I called her to get her recipe for her yogurt/cool whip pie. She read that and a few other recipes to me, then I decided I was going a whole 'nother way with pudding and nanners.
Last month, I called and asked "what am I having for dinner?"
before that I pondered via phone with her "how am I fixing my chicken"
and a year ago "what kind of wine do I like?"

see? and yet she stills answers her phone when it rings at 3;30- You'd think she'd figured out that that is when I am in the grocery store!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Control

I'd post a pic of my Troll cross tattoo for this entry, but I am at work and have no access to pictures of any kind.  The school district I work for apparently monitors what people are doing on their computers- even teachers.  The teacher I am working for today left explicit instructions that I only use the class computers designated for students, and I only use them at lunch if I even need them.  Yeah- wasn't gonna hop on the computer when I am supposed to be working.  Apparently she had a sub at one time looking up sporting goods prices while he was supposed to be monitoring students (moniter? ack).  I hope they just misunderstood and he was actually checking this stuff between classes- because that is just wrong and creates an unhealthy environment for the next sub who is not closely watched and limited.

I can understand her request not to use her computer, though.  It's hers, and it's personal.  Just like her desk drawers and cupboards (I only go through them if I can't readily find things I need like bandaid or a pass to the nurse's office.
I can even understand her request that I don't steal her pencils and pens.  Or that I clean up the classroom before I leave.  and emopty the trash.  All this I do anyway usually.  Stealing is bad and mommy taught me to leave things better than I found them.

But....she instructed me, I quote, "Do not read sub plans to the students".  What?  There are times I have kids go "Ms.Whosawhatits doesn't make us do that- and I read them what their teacher wrote that usually says "do that".  Or if I don't understand, "do chapter 3 in the Crash book and make sure you SLANT".  I have to read it to the kids so they can translate it into English- Crash is a novel and slant is an acronym for Sit-up, Listen, Ask/answer, nod/notes, Track.  I should have the right to read sub plans if I choose.  I won't read the part where she tells me that this class is difficult, or that Juan is attention-challenged.  If she doesn't want it to be read, if it can't be said aloud, don't write it! 

Of course, then there were various other demands that I already knew but no feel less inclined to do them because they sounded like orders and not requests.  I am paid to be here and teach the kids from 7:30-3:00, I am not paid to crawl on the floor and get paper scraps, etc- But I do because I care.  I care less when you have a slightly trollish personality though.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A rose by any other name- might be mispronounced

It's recess!  So I am blogging.  I have a kid in this class named Cobby.  Yeah- you pronounced it Kaw-bee, right?  Nope.  It's Kobee.  I never would have guessed.  This is a slipperly slope, parents.  Just like naming your future baseball star Chone - which I pronounce CH-O-kneee.  which is the slang word for underwear.  CH is never SH. Never.  There's that one rumor about a kid named Shithead- pronounced Shi-th-eed, or Lemonjello- Le-MON-jillo.  There are pronunciation rules in the English language whether you believe it or not.  And- another thing- Poor Synthia- her name sounds the same as Cynthia, but it starts with Syn like synthetic.  very sad. This is coming from a kid whose brother is amed Geoffrey- but G is a J sound legally.

Monday, April 11, 2011

slowly_

It's Spring Break next week for me.  You might see me more then- and after that comes summer- which will give me more blogging and READING blogs time. I started this blog a year ago primarily because I was hooked on reading blogs- it started out as wedding blogs and inched into witch blogs- then I adopted "I like this person" blogs- you see, I go a bit crazy with everything I do.  I don't just adopt one cat- I end up with 6.
Anyhoo, I started the blog while I was at home with a broken leg.  I had been walking (and drinking) at a sand drag event.  My boyfriend was drag racing his electric golf cart- yes, it is as funny as it sounds.  He has us drive his little two seater golf cart out onto the sand drag tracks and it plops right next to a $100,000 hugely paddle tire-d jeep or drag racer.  The crowd giggles.  Last year, I ran beside the car taking pictures (I exaggerate).  This year, we went again to the drag races- he pulled his golf cart out next to the big guys- and he kicked butt!!!! he raced 3 times!  that's huge.  We laughed because everyone didn't expect his little cart to go so fast.  Last year we didn't race so I made the margaritas, slipped a little in the soft sand, and bam, broken leg.  This year, I wasn't allowed margaritas (I used my friend's Margarita chapstick- she's the holistic homesteader on the side).  No broken anything. Ok, maybe a bit of a broken heart because we argued- but I am maintaining that is Mercury in retrograde's fault.
So, slowly, you will see me more.  I especially felt the need after my mom sent me this link: Blogging as a Hobby. 
It's from January- but being noticed is nice.

I had about 3 things I was gonna grump about last week.  Grumping letters and blogs are my favorite to write because they feel more like debates, and boy, I loved debating in college.  I was pretty dern good at it.  I think I'll save those posts til tomorrow though- because I have pretty much babbled you out now.

But, Here's what I have been spending time on this week:
First I had to beg and wear down the old codger I live with.  For two years I have been asking for something fuzzy and have been told I have enough fuzzy things- the boyfriend sports a beard and a fuzzy head, the dog is all hair.  I ask everytime something fuzzy comes on TV- "Can I have that?" and I always get a no.  A cat was out of the question because the dog would torment him/her.  A rat was a no because they don't like rats at all.  But when Kitty Pinkstars, a friend on FB showed me pictures of her Ethel- her hamster- I knew what I wanted!  I showed BF's dad pics of her every day.  I stopped by pet stores and took pics.  He finally conceded- he was going to get me one for Easter, but I pouted to boyfriend why I should get one earlier.  (Yes, I know I am a spoiled two year old).  So, now Ruby Dooby Doo is home.  Old Codger runs into the toom everytime he hears me talk in a sweet voice- "is she up?" he excitedly squeals.  He is smitten.  Now, if I could only get her to love me.  slowly- in time