Friday, February 11, 2011

Emotions!

I was thinking about my son today.  His death day is coming up on the 17th.  It's been 13 years.  His birthday would be on the 8th of March.  He'd be 16.
I've been weepy the past three days (can't be that I have been pmsing for two weeks now- urg stupid messed up body) but also because my other babies have been gone two weeks and Tob's anniversary is coming up. (Boyfriend's dad oddly told me that I have to just not think about it)
So, on a side note, I've been asking boyfriend to bring my boxes of stuff home from being stored at his shop.  they are full of books for some imaginary future classroom and I am tired of storing them.  I also have altar stuff and patterns ion there I want to use.  Boyfriend brought home one box today.
The box was full of baby stuff!  My kid's cards to me, baby footprints, Tob's hospital pictures and little shoes, baby socks, etc etc.  I had a good cry. I take it as a gift from him.  Tobin picked that box for me to get.

Tomorrow I'll post the poem I wrote for Tobin's memorial.

4 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Let your emotions flow -- you're entitled! Hugs to you.

Linda in New Mexico said...

No words of "wisdom", only understanding from another who shares your pain. The Olde Bagg, Linda

Miss Sugar said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, I don't think the grief gets easier, just carrying it and living with it does. There's always going to be days where it's as fresh as yesterday. Try to be gentle with yourself during this difficult time. *hugs*

Her Mom said...

Tobin is always with you. He's keeping his eye on you. Because he loves you. And so do I.