You'll find that I have a bit of extremism when it comes to things. Yesterday's post might not have been a crisis to you, but it sure felt like one to me. Strangely, I didn't feel it hit until yesterday morning, and that might have been because the night before I had had a Tobin dream. I was still prepared to go- I even found a green skirt (boyfriend's colors) at Goodwill to wear. (It was brand new and target brand- they seem to have a lot of overflow from target).
What really got me overly emotional might not have been the actual event. It was reactions to it. Boyfriend has been focused on moving. He really had no time to think- we talked tonight and he said had he even had time to think about it, he would have talked to me- I believe him.
Here's the real issue: It was darn hot all week, my mint is flourishing and yesterday was friday (as if that matters)- I made a nice mojito for myself last night. I drank one with alcohol in it and about 2 virgin. I called my friend Megan to talk over the Toby thing- she calls me when she's have a break down- she patted my hand and I felt better. Boyfriend's dad walks in, mentions I had made a second blender (I didn't tell him it was alcohol free- it is none of his beeswax). Boyfriend texted and needed help at work. I talked to his dad- and I was still sniffling a bit about Toby. The sniffles turned to an occasional tear. His dad said I always cry when I drink.
He totally dismissed any emotions and turned right to alcohol! wtf? yes I just used a bad word. Quite frankly, I have a beer or a wine most days of the week- and I don't cry most days of the week. I was already upset and he turned it to my behavior which he is obviously judging.
I went to bed. Before 8. I let it all out. I feel better. But I stayed in my room all day- sometimes I just need to hermit. To not deal with people. Boyfriend didn't wake me up to go with him. He hadn't seen the blog- maybe he just decided to let me sleep. He's home now. I left the toom to find dinner. I'll go back to bed soon. Life will go on.
Thank you for your kind words. I really don't want to seem like a crazy emotional person- but somedays I am. That's me. I feel.