First Random- then I'll Lunacy.
I think I am turning off anonymous. I really wanted to make commenting the easiest it could possibly be. I didn't do passwords and I left anonymous open. However- People have been abusing that. I have been lucky enough that blogger has a nice spam filter and gets the longwinded weird spam that is posted. But, yesterday, under my pictures post (you know, the one that was just pictures- a bunch of them?) a spammer posted "nice post, but don't you think pictures would help your blog more?" then gave me some weird name. That was posted by two weird names in two places. What dolts!
I like the red hair too, thanks. It's not gonna last long. I have only washed it once and you can already see the blonde peering out. It is permanent hair color, but evidently, nothing is permanent.
I drew twelve tarot cards yesterday- one for each month of this year (Hallowe'en marks the pagan New Year, so don't think I am monthly or holiday challenged). It looks like a lot of the same crap if I don't figure myself out- which is part of today's gripe/lunacy. One month really cracked me up. Apparently, in July, I'll have rest and respite. Duh- I do every July- that's when I visit my mommy and daddy and brudder.
OK- today's gripe. Some of you know it yourselves. Or you see it in others- that ever lurking broom closet! I thought I lived out of the broom closet. I felt I did. Until last night. Story behind the story: boyfriend's dad went to baptist bible school. He was gonna be a preacher. He raised his kids with church and the Christian God. In fact, I used to go to church with boyfriend and his dad when we were teens. Current background: Boyfriend knows my religious choices. He cringed a bit when he found out, but that was because his last girlfriend was a wiccan and she left some bad memories. (she also was born in october and had red hair). I haven't fully "come out" to bf's dad yet- he should know- he's asked me if I believed in witchcraft and I said yes, he knows I love ghost and witch shows, I wore the darn witch hat around the house all week- but I don't know if he really really knows. Substory: Boyfriend's sister suddenly decided to homeschool her 16 year old daughter. She claims it is so she can give her daughter a good Christian basis in her education.
whole story: Last night, sister and her daughter came over to give out candy and visit. I asked sister how homeschooling was going. She mentioned she was enjoying it and daughter really like that they were discussing other religions. ("oh- cool" I thought) Sister goes on to say how good this was so that daughter can see how the other religions were wrong (not exact wording- I forgot wording). I don't remember whole conversation- we ended up comparing Bible stories- Song of Solomon always cracks me up (My sister has no breasts, what shall I do when she is spoken for?). I commented on how the Bible was picked from a bunch of books written by man and edited by man. Some books were left out. She said something about the ones that were left out were inaccurate (as far as I am concerned anything written by man is inaccurate and biased). She whipped out her phone and showed me the bible on it. I joked that her god told her not to eat shrimp (somewhere in Deuteronomy) and she paused "what? He's not your God?" I switched subjects.
why? To respect the boyfriend who most likely does not want me to out myself? I think he asked at one time that I not out myself. But..wait.. That does not respect me, or who I am. That is me being untrue to myself. That is uncool. How'd I get back in the broom closet? I've been out in school, at work (if asked), and to family and friends for quite a while. When did I get stuck back in? and why?
that's it- that's my ramble. I know for my own good that I need to own who I am. and I am not happy with last night. I am not happy that I felt the need to avoid the question. I am not happy that I did avoid the question.
How would you like to be asked, or feel the need to (being asked is actually a moot point anyway), deny who you are to others? Would you like to claim that you are not a Catholic, or a Baptist, or a Pagan in order to fit in? Would you like to pretend that you are a republican even though you are a democrat? Or a boy if you are a girl? Would you like to be dumped onto an island of gays and have to pretend you are even if you are straight? Then why to we expect others to deny who they are, or to pretend they are something they are not?