Here's what I wrote in my notes on facebook 2 years ago (well, one year 10 months) but close enough. I thought it would be interesting to review each year what I want out of life and see if anything changes.
I've had a lot of time to think about what I really want out of life, and even though I might not have my philosophy fully ironed out- Im getting it down for posterity's sake:
I want the same thing we all strive for and need since birth: affection, admiration, respect, acceptance.
I want to be the person someone looks forward coming home to, the person someone can't wait to see or talk to. To be adored. I want a friendly pat on the back, a touch on the arm, a big, full, long bear hug. I want a slap on the butt as I walk by, a stolen kiss on the neck, a meaningful touch, to hold hands. I want to make love as an expression of emotion. I want a stranger to smile at me because we share the same human experience.
I want to be the kind of person a child can look up to, to be a hero in someone's eyes. I want others to see my work and appreciate it. I want to make a meaningful impact on the world that serves as an example to others. I want someone to occasionally think, "wow, I'd like to be like her".
I want people to try to understand my position on things even if they don't agree. I want to be thought of as an informed educated person whose thoughts are valuable. I want what I say or think to be taken with some weight rather than dismissed. I want to be thought of as a person who deserves a good place in life because I have earned it by my actions. I want to be a beneficial member of society. I want my job to make a difference. I want to contribute good things to life on this planet.
I want people to love my idiosyncrasies. I want people to stop pointing out what they consider a fault of mine, and to instead embrace it because that is part of who I am. I try my hardest not to make mistakes, or create havoc, or hurt others- and if I do act like an idiot someday, I want people to realize that it was a momentary lapse in judgment, or a decision I made with thought, not an evil plan to destroy those I love. I am not going to single out my own faults, I am sure you each have your opinion on what they are- but they are ever-changing and subjective.
I want people to know I adore them, and to never doubt that. I try to express this daily to those I love and appreciate (sometimes with words, sometimes with affection). I want those close to me to know that I respect their opinion and want to understand their position on things- I want them to educate me, to widen my horizon, not just validate my stance. I want friends who feel bad about their preconceived faults to know that’s part of what I love about them. I also want people to know I value their strengths.
Current: I really like that I wanted immaterial things! And I want the same things years later, I think this is the core of me, what I strive for. I like it, I like me.
I can add a few material things now- I'd like to be in a stable marriage. I realized I like being married- I just need that marriage to have what I need (basically the whole thing I wrote years ago). I want a little house or trailer to live in. I want a garden. ( I think I wrote this part on my blog not long ago-) I want to brew beer, make wine, I want to make stuff like lotion and amulets with my own herbs. I want to make homemade food like fruit roll-ups and spaghetti sauce. I want to be remembered as a warm giving person.
I've realized for a while I tried to be thought of as other stuff- mostly dealing with body issues- like the pretty one, or the hot chick- but I laugh everytime I try to take a picture with a sexy expression on my face. That's not me. and I'm not gonna try to conform to fit into that mold- it just just work.
I'm a friend, a girlfriend, a mom, an artist, a teacher, a caretaker, a goofball, a nerd. I like flowy clothes, ballet slippers and heels, short quirky hair, painted walls, my scooter, flavored coffee, food, friends, family. I want my (future) home to be somewhere people can come enjoy themselves- let the kids run around, take off their shoes, eat, laugh, feel free to say whatever they want. I want me to fit into that environment- a person who enjoys herself, takes off her shoes, lets her metaphorical hair down, eats, laughs, hangs with friends, etc...
as a side note- a few years ago I decided that I was going to say yes to invitations from friends. I was going to ride the rollercoasters at the amusement park, I was going to try new foods. It was a year of yesses, and it was a good one. I am working on that again. I'm going to spend less time on this couch. I need to get out there and live. Especially when so much of life is actually free (like friends and family).
To punctuate that, I also decided I'm going to go with some urges. I'm going to buy some clothes I love that fit (not only from the second hand store where I have been buying them- and when I get money). I am going to buy some holiday gifts and not stress about it. I might even go out on Black friday- with Tricia- though that'll be a little hard for me since it is crowds and early morning hours. And I cut my hair off. I love the red, I'm keeping it. I hated the length, which is probably short to you all, but had lots of unhealthy hair and weight to it. I like short and spunky. (Boyfriend might not love it- but I do). Maybe I'll get that tattoo I've been pining for- maybe I'll bake a cake for no reason at all- you never know! This year I am focusing on loving what I have, and changing what I want, and having a good life full of love and laughter. If I put out happiness, happiness is attracted to me- and we all need more happiness in the air!