Yeah- I know, I just made up a new word- but if Pres. George W. Bush can do it, so can I.
There is a difference between being used and being useful. Even as a mommy, a person can be used. The difference, I believe, may be in the gratitude and expectations of the receiver.
I had big issues with both cleaning and cooking. When had it become my job to rinse other people's dishes and get them into the dishwasher? When had it become my job to pick up other people's crap from all over the living room? When had my son's clothes started to sneak into my laundry basket? Or the trash become my job? Why whenever I cooked, did someone complain about what I made and then not eat? If I didn't cook, I looked like a bad mommy. Why did my reminding the son to do his chores become nagging?
The gratitude and support felt like it was missing. Because I had been a stay at home mom for so many years, I was now considered the doer of all things. Ex's job was to earn the money and water the grass. My job was everything else. and I had to do everything else to other people's standards.
I'm not saying my job as mom and wife was bad. I was lucky to be able to stay at home for so long. I was lucky to be able to put myself through college (I know I did because I still have the loan to prove it). I was lucky to have kids that were not difficult and an Ex that worked hard. buttttt......
I no longer felt useful. I felt used. I know the difference and I didn't like it.
That's my gripe for the week- it was very pleasing to have to reach back into time to find a gripe :) I guess fall and halloween can really make a girl happy :}