It was a holiday, people! so I get to post this a day late. Tomorrow I'll do abc wednesday and thursday I'll hopefully write about the outdoors for spin cycle.
I wasn't going to grump this week- really- but this kept forming in my head, and I assume most of you know someone like this- so I'll get it off my chest. ( I was going to insert a picture here- but I googled pompous princess and nothing struck my fancy).
Dear Pompous Princess,
You are not as great as you think you are. You talk about how perfect, and special, and smart you are- but your actions don't meet your words. Really, your actions label you as a spoiled *itch. What am I talking about?
* Don't tell people that you are "an educator". It bugs the crap out of me, as it does other REAL educators. I went to school and went into freaking debt to EARN that title. You are an after-school program coordinator. Your job may not be easy, as you babysit so many kids and help them with their homework- but YOU are not an EDUCATOR or teacher. Just like I am not a doctor because I know how to lance a boil. I don't even call myself a teacher- and I have the freaking credential that says I am. I won't call myself a teacher until I have my own classroom. You shouldn't until you spend the time and money to get a degree- actually, don't, just don't call yourself one at all.
* Sitting on your butt putting makeup one while we clean or wait patiently for you is annoying to us. Did you not see me picking up the house, your beer cans, the chips all over the floor? Did you not see me vacuuming, wiping down tables, doing the dishes, or making lunch? I'm not your mom- I'm even younger than you (in years, not behavior). Don't ask me what you can do once I've done it all- you are perfectly aware of what needs to be done around here.
* Interrupting my intelligent conversation with another intelligent person to force some inane comment in and change the topic to you is not cute. I don't want to talk about you anymore. Frankly, I've had enough of you. I don't believe half of what you say anyway- because all your conversations are about is how great people think you are. How all your faults are things like "giving too much" and "working too hard". Yeah, right.
* Bothering people, making out with strangers, and acting like a spoiled brat by sticking your hand in another person's birthday cake is just wrong. It's unacceptable social behavior. It doesn't make you cool. It makes you an ass. Other drunk people might think you are funny, for a minute. If they have to deal with your behavior for days on end, their opinion would change quickly.
* I don't want to ask you what your recent boyfriend just texted to you. I'm reading a book, or trying to nap, or pretending to sleep to avoid you. Don't gasp and giggle and exclaim something everytime your phone beeps. I am not going to ask you"what?" because I am not interested. I don't care.
*Seriously, I am all for fun. I let loose a little this weekend. Nothing is better than floating in the river with a full tummy and a cold beer. I'm here to relax- not to make myself the center of attention and not to be your audience. Grow up- have fun, but not in a way that annoys the crap out of everyone around you. Do your own dishes- buy some food instead of eating mine- take care of your own self. ( I know, I know- you always talk about how you can take care of yourself, but I don't see it- because I took care of you and your crap all weekend- and if it wasn't me, it was one of the other four people in our house).
*BTW- you are forty, not twenty one. It's time for a reality check, and a priority check.
sincerely, leave me the heck alone, I am on vacation.