I had a call this morning to go into work. But I was fighting a migraine hangover and the call allowed me only 45 minutes to get there. It's a half hour drive anywhere, so I'd have only 15 minutes to get showered and ready. I didn't take the job. I feel guilty. But seeing the temperature and knowing most classrooms have little to no airconditioning, I feel way less guilty. I have a migraine waiting to creep in right now, and a hot classroom would have set it off instantly. Plus, fourth graders really smell when they are sweaty.
Instead, I am going to grump about my weight. I know, I am such a hypocrite because a few weeks ago I grumped about lack of body acceptance. I'm pretty OK with my body right now as it currently is- but a few things make me grump.
My doctor chewed me out for gaining weight. I put a few pounds on over the summer. OK- ten pounds. That was from lack of exercise and lots of drink. I'm getting older too, so I'd like to blame it on that.
I had planned to start dieting. It's easy, right? I used to do it all the time. Even as a teen, I could count calories with the best of them. But the problem is, either my mom or I cooked when I was a teen- and we liked chicken and veggies, and healthy foods. Plus, I didn't like beer then. and I had a better metabolism. and I was better at saying no.
Now I am in a house where someone else cooks. He likes only corn (with lots of butter) or greenbeans (with bacon fat). He makes scalloped or fried potatoes, macaroni and cheese, fried porkchops, steak. I was buying groceries so I could make healthy dinners for us, and to add veggies and fruits to my diet, but I have enough money to buy gas until the end of October when I get paid, and that's it.
I started walking. Then my ankle was aching. then the heat wave came. I walked last thursday about 2 miles. I rewarded myself with beer. I'm sure exercise shouldn't be a means to a reward. It's boring to walk in circles. I like walking to the store- but again, I am broke. I miss Curves. I felt strong and had a good time going there. I might join a gym- we will see. I have another excuse about that though- I have to be home right after school to book a job, and people don't want me to drive my scooter in the dark, so it's difficult to go to the gym. I guess I'll keep walking.
The weight I am at is OK. But I need to buy clothes that fit, especially pants. and I hate the tire that flops over my legs when I sit down. We won't even discuss shaving my bikini line. Maybe I could win the lottery and get a tummy tuck (and be an even bigger hypocrite).
I'm not writing this to get sympathy. I don't need accolades. I'm writing this because I believe at some time or another, every one of you has hit a wall as well. It's like the point where Homer Simpson just decided to buy and wear mumus.
I am still making a concerted effort to eat healthily- and haven't bought beer for home (though I did have 2 delicious beers yesterday- Hoptober and one with hazelnut). I don't even have wine at home, cuz I'll drink it! So hopefully, a few pounds will creep off before I go to the doctor again. Boy, was it so much easier when I was a teenager (and even then I didn't appreciate my size 7 body- youth is wasted on the young!)
What do you have to grump about?