Monday, August 30, 2010

Warning: I'm wearing very little- Lunes Lunacy 3

I hate America's obsession with looks.  OK- I know it's probably not just America- but I'm living in California- near Hollywood, but closer to where spoiled rich people can waste their money on liposuction and boob jobs- so I get bombarded with false images of perfection everywhere.  Do you know how many plastic surgery ads are on billboards in my town?  too freaking many.

Most days I love myself.  I stopped watching stupid shows about plastic surgery because I realized they made me doubt my looks (I stopped when the woman had her labia reduced and matched up- because apparently they were different sized and it affected her sex life emotionally). 

Dr.Surgeon General or whoever tells me what I am supposed to weigh doesn't love me though.  I just checked my BMI.  It's 27%- overweight.  I'd have to lose about 20 pounds to be at 24% healthy range.  Yeah- at twenty pounds (about a stone and a half) weight loss I'd be 150 pounds- thats 11 stones about.  That's a decent weight for me- but not an easy one for me to keep.  I've been about 170 forever now.  There are months or even years I lose weight and get to 140.  Then creep up again.  I lost weight with phentermine and got a gall stone in 1996 and hit 97 pounds before gall stone surgery.  It took a while to creep up from there but I was a vegetarian and not drinking alcohol then.  I lost weight again a few times after that.  I did this prior to starting my BA college- so that was 2006 ish, then again in 2007 and right after my separation from the EX I dropped a lot of weight- that was almost 2 years ago, so I have creeped back up.  I'm not bad- here's pictures-

The boobs look better when not in a uniboob bra- and the legs are longer when the picture isn't taken at an odd angle- but that's me.  Lumps and all.  Not perfection- but not bad.  I think I get my figure from my grandma in her early days, and my paternal Nanna who wasn't a small lady- I do not have my mom's tall lean figure and excellent eating habits.

I think with a little makeup and the proper accoutraments, we could both look like supermodels of yesterday:

See?  check out grandma-

I bought an extremely cute bathing suit similar to these I plan to wear this weekend- I'll see if I can get pictures. 

Anyway?  what's my gripe?  I'm not complaining about the BMI Index- it might be very accurate at determining health.  I might be overweight a tad.  whatever.  I do have to complain about people, and some of those people are in my life, who mix up weight with health- there's a correlation, but they are not the same thing.  Just like working out vigorously is not a direct correlation to health (think Florence Joyner- runner who died of a heart attack).  I do agree with moderate excercise for the mind and body- but I maintain stress is a bigger killer than being a bit chunky.  And stress is caused by lots of things- including having a need to be perfect or reaching some unattainable goal of perfection, so don't force your body image issues on me.  I also think stress reduction can take the form of a good relaxing dinner with wine.  So I don't plan on limiting that too much.

Here is my monday gripe:

This woman hosts a show called "Thintervention".  I can almost guarentee that her body fat index is way below the healthy 18%.  And she's now in charge of making fat people healthy?  Or is it making fat people skinny?  remember: Skiiny does not equal healthy.  Say that with me: Skinny does not equal healthy.  I realize that 72 million americans are OBESE. That's 31% of our population here. 

And I realize that these women are endangering their health.  But there is a big difference between them and me.  And I'm betting there is a big difference between food choices and exercise.  I can't imagine being this weight- but their weight still DOES NOT DEFINE THEM.

Did you know that in the US 300,000 women a year get a boob job?  7% of them have Body dysmorphic disorder and will never be happy with themselves- (Heidi whats'ername?).  It's about $5000 for a boobjob- I can sure think of a few trips that would be more fullfilling than fat in my bra and a good time for boyfriend.

8 million Americans have an eating disorder. 7 million of them are women.  Why is that?  why is the cosmetic surgey business booming?  why do we allow images in the media to dictate what we feel is perfection? I'm trying to break that cycle- I argue with boyfriend about this, but I just don't think he gets it- neither does boyfriend's dad (who add bacon grease to the greenbeans then comments on my butt size).   Just shut up about my weight and health.  I am a big girl.  I got it handled, whether I choose to battle the weight or not.  I have already bettered my eating habits- that's what I deem important.  ah- I digress-
this is not perfection:

Out of these women, which ones are more attractive?

We buy thats craptastic magazine with issues about celebrity body fat because we are all secretly thrilled the battle the same issue we have- and people still think them beautiful.  See how lumpy my thighs are?  Craptastic magazine would tsktsk me- those thighs are lumpy at 100 pounds too people- though thighs have excess skin that sags.  Whatever.  Those thighs carry me from point a to point b.  They are soft enough to snuggle in.  They fill out a skirt.  I'm not pulling them up and hemming them like some old fabric to please you.  Deal with it. I have and I have decided that I love myself and like myself this way- jiggles, bumps, and all.


greekwitch said...

Oh i wish i looked like you. I look more like the lady in the right in the picture with the fat ladies. She looks thin next to them. It has been a long time since i felt thin next to someone. I used to suffer from bulimia, so i know exactly what you mean.By the way, your figure is fine. I really do not believe you are endangering your health in any way. And i prefer old models better than new models!

Lyn said...

Woo hoo K! Well said and how brave of you to bare almost all (much braver than me).

I've battled with my weight since a teenager but I don't anymore. I'm in the chunky category yet I eat healthily and exercise somewhat. I spent so many wasted years obsessing and trying to starve my body. Years of misery.

I have days where I wish I were different but on the whole I like my body. It's carried me about for 37 years and produced 3 children. Besides, I'm grumpy when I'm hungry ;-)

D.Suplicki said...

K, you and I can rock 170 like it's the sexiest weight on earth together. I weighed about 110 lbs up until 5 years ago (I'm 5'4") and everyone used to comment on how 'hot' I was and how my 10% body fat was enviable. At the time, I bought into it, but now I realize it's all bullshit. While I'd like to lose 5-10 lbs and trim up here and there, I like the fact that I've sprouted some boobs, have some junk in my trunk and have healthier eating habits than I did back then.

Some days I am still my body's biggest critic, but my brain and my body are learning to like each other a little more every day.

P.S - I have one of those vintage style bathing suits with the skirt and it is the single greatest bathing suit I have ever owned. I feel like the hottest babe on the beach in it!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Right on! Real women have real bodies. The beauty and diet industries are really a form of social control of women and we need to fight and reject them. And we do that by loving our real bodies and real selves!

BTW, I've been having trouble leaving comments on your blog using my Mac since you changed your format. But your comments box works just fine with my PC. Don't know what that means?

K(Banterings of a Basketcase) said...

I have no idea why commenting is difficult. I've had Ms.Behmer tell me the same thing- and I checked it out to find nothing changed. I changed my comment box style right now to see if that makes a difference. Bummer on blogspot.
*GREEKWITCH- You should be happy to have womanly curves- not wishing you looked like anybody but yourself. I love you just the way you are :)
and thanks everyone for the huzzahs- girl power!

Anonymous said...

First of all, you're a smokin' hot bitch.

Second of all, I am standing right next to you waiving my hands and arms in the air screaming "you go girl, sing it loud!"

I agree wholeheartedly "skinny is not healthy" and I'd also like to add that "overweight isn't unhealthy".

The goverment (ummmm, I don't like them to begin with so why the fuck listen to them about my ass?) says I'm 85 lbs. overweight. If I weighed what they say I'm supposed to weigh....WWIII would ensue because I'd be a miserable rotten bitch.

I think if women would support each other rather than compete or try and one up physically (plastic surgery, etc.) then maybe America wouldn't even have this epidemic obesity issue.

Also, that chick from that show irritates the crap out of me. Apparently she's a lesbian known for stealing straight women. Um, I'm all about having gaygirlcrushes, but she's irritating.

OK, I'm done bitching...for now.

Her Mom said...

We all have different bodies that are most comfortable at different weights. Grossly obese (as are the women in that one photo) is unhealthy - eating the way you'd have to eat to get there is unhealthy. Striving to be skinny when that requires starving yourself is unhealthy. Eating healthy foods, exercising a reasonable amount, accepting yourself as an imperfect being (which we all are), that's what's important.

And then, once you accept the idea that those "perfect" bodies we see in movies and on tv have a lot of help from doctors, makeup, lighting, etc. and that we are what we are and that's okay, you age some more, things sag a little more, the wrinkles increase - and you have to go through that acceptance thing all over again. Ain't it wonderfuL?

Like this comment thing better - it didn't remember who I was when you changed format, now it knows me again.

AlphaBetsy said...

K you are absolutely gorgeous. And you are so right. I recently began dieting because I was truly overweight, and I made sure to set a realistic weight loss goal. According to most things I've seen they want me to weigh 125-135 lbs. I set my goal at 175. Because that was what I weighed at my most self assured and comfortable which was what my doctor told me to aim for. I'm working on it, but I absolutely refuse to starve myself or to bow to a horribly unrealistic body image. I will join the revolution!!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Wow, so many extremes in one post. I admire your bravery in putting yourself out there. My body is about like yours, maybe even more around the thighs. But that is me. The best I can do is just keep myself healthy. I gave up the notion of being model thin a LONG time ago and since then, I've been so much happier with myself. :-)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Okay, I've just successfully left a comment using my Mac -- so the previous comment box style must have been the issue! Thanks for looking into this!

SuziCate said...

I think the "skinny" obsession is ridiculous. I'd like to be healthy and in shape but not a twig. I don't focus on my body or other peoples...I think that is a bit shallow. I went to an event this weekend and was told that someone at it complained that people didn't pay attention to her and it must have been because everyone was jealous because she was so much smaller than everyone else. jFrist of all, no one paid much attention to her because she is certifiabley crazy, and just to note she looked like everyone else...she I guess is self-absorbed. And shallow because she made note of everyone's appearance...I don't talk to this person any more than required (for obvious reasons) but I always hear the reports...lucky me!

Anonymous said...

You go girl! I am with you. Standing there right beside you making our front. YOu look great. I think you're right in that America is WAY too obsessed with looks and not what's inside.

David said...

i dont know how i stumbled on your blog, o yea i was googling extremly obese ppl and that pic came up. Look you are clearly obsessed with your weight and about being fat. Btw you are fat not really obese but yes you are noticably overwieght. as a man if i saw you in a club i would quickly pass you up. My point is since your clearly obsessed with being thin then just do it. Go to the gym, exercise, restrict your diet to less calories in than out. What will statistically happen is you may start a diet and exercise plan then most likely will quit shortly after that. (its why gysm give away so many 2 week and 1 month trials) i hope you do start but odds or most of you who read this wont even start exerciseing. Anyway just do it. GO! stop blaming niptuck and hollywood and plastic surgeons. they didnt make you fat you made yourself fat through your actions (or inaction). You just sound really childish and unappealing to men. take my advice. And most women read this blog so they can feel alittle better about their own bodies but they are all wasting time that could be spent at the gym. I know, i usta be 272 pounds, now im down to 160. losing weight was by far the hardest thing i have ever done ever. but in retrospect it was totally worht it. I mean i am really hot now. and i feel great too.