Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tally- ho

Here's a tally to yesterday's blogpost, and an interesting psychological excursion.
Number of people that commented on my blog verbally or written- 14
Number of people that agreed- 12
Number of women- 12
Number of men-2
Number who actually read the whole thing- maybe 13, but not 14

Boyfriend and other man wanted to play devil's advocate.  Other man was hung up on the fact that I used the word spoiled before rich- and I'm calling you out, other man! He was also the one that didn't read the whole post.  He argued that people have the right to choose what they spend their money on, and that we look for aesthetics everywhere, so why not in our own bodies?
Boyfriend wanted to argue that society does not dictate skinny and big boobs.  He also wanted to know if I was upset about plastic surgery because of the dangers of it- and why I thought it was OK to dye my hair and get tattoos...?

Is it because they are male?  Is it because I can't properly explain myself?  Is it me making a big deal out of something that's not? am I a hypocrite?
Oh- apparently lesbianism is cool if you are sexy too.- Is this not dictating a male's idea of perfection?

I am at loss for words.  I thought what I said yesterday was worthy of winning a debate.  Do I need figures to back up my statements?  Was the 7 million people with an eating disorder not enough?  Or the number of people who feel the need to cut into themselves to fit some mold?
I can't say this hasn't been going on forever- I was gonna argue that before plastic surgery, women didn't feel the need to morph themselves- but they did.  Corsets, girdles, makeup, the tapeworm diet, binding feet or boobs- all fit into this category.  Dying hair probably does as well.  So maybe I should go without makeup and hairdye to prove I am really serious about this subject.  Maybe I shouldn't shave either.

I was upset at both men.  I still am.  Aesthetics is subjective.  It is also forced on society in subtle forms of brainwashing.  Thus, the corset, the roaring twenties with small boobs, asians getting eyelid surgery, and breast implants.  Why do you think advertising works so well?  we all brain wash easily.

I told boyfriend that he'd pick the above picture over my current body if he had the choice.  He didn't argue or agree.  That's one reason I'm pissed.  I like boyfriend as he is.  I don't want to change him to have abs like "the situation" or shoulders like that werewolf boy.  I think all his body traits are part of his wonderful package. I really wish all men thought the same way about women.

So, what do you think?  really?  I feel that tattoos are like decorating myself- maybe even hair dye and makeup are the same way.  I can paint my room without changing the architecture of a house.  I can trim the hedges and not change the structure.  There- that's my arguement.  That's my issue.

God, Goddess, Frank Lloyd Wright- all had excellent architectural intelligence.  I should appreciate that.

of course- this doesn't cover the weight issue I discussed- but I like the way my friend Janet said it "my point is that until we can look within ourselves and see that we are amazingly created and awesome just how we are including our flaws, no amount of surgery, denial of life's pleasures, obsession over exercise or any other exercise in the name of aesthetics will ever make us feel whole or beautiful. We are all deserving of love and acceptance despite our hangups, flaws, worries and even the things we are confident of. Oh sure it is easy to look at a stunningly beautiful person, feel envious and think hateful thoughts about what they may or may not do to achieve their beauty, they deserve to feel loved and adored for who they are despite their outer shell as well. When it comes right down to it.. we are all the same on the inside under our skin... just some of us are more marbled than others"

I'll just keep eating fairly healthy, keep walking my dog, and keep reminding myself that I am beautiful the way I am- you all told me that :)


Anonymous said...

Boyfriend and Other Man can suck it.


Men have NO FUCKING IDEA about this because women are not visual beings like they are.

Also, many men still have scabs on their knuckles from the dragging.

Just sayin'.

Also, you're still a smokin' hot bitch and if boyfriend has a problem with your dyed hair and tattoos, I'm sure there's someone else out there who doesn't ; )

We gotta keep them in check, ya know.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Ha ha, what Inannasstar said! Most men just simply DO NOT GET IT. You'll go nuts if you expect them to, so just ignore them. Oh and one more thing -- those "lesbians" they love to see photos and videos of? FAKE LESBIANS. Real lesbians don't let themselves be used for male gratification.

Mara said...

Hear hear to what you said and the comments before me! Hear hear!

K(Banterings of a Basketcase) said...

LOL- Inannasstar- you rock. Boyfriend is a good guy- I think I'll keep him. He likes the blond hair and is OK with the tats, but used them as a point of arguement.

Deb- OK, I'll ignore them. I probably shouldn't think of these things whilst in the whirlwind of PMS anyway- just gets me riled up.

Mara- :)

Her Mom said...

It goes like this (in my humble not really very well informed or important opinion) - unless and until you are happy with yourself, you will never be happy with someone else. Bottom line - if you're truly happy with you as you are, that's all that matters. If you're telling yourself you're happy and you aren't, then that needs work.

As for what I like? I'm not crazy about tattoos - but then, my generation didn't do that. In my generation, it was tough guys and bikers that did that. In moderation, I can handle them. A whole arm sleeve or whole chest or back tattoo/tattoos turns me off. So I don't have tattoos. Others must do what they prefer.

Dyed hair? Well, I'd like to see you go natural for awhile, with maybe some highlights. I say this while acknowledging that at your age I did some coloring, weaving, highlighting - whatever suited me at the time. It comes to this - it's your body, it's your hair, do what makes your heart sing. If the rest of us can't accept you that way, maybe we aren't really that important in your life.

f8hasit said...

I watched the movie 'It's Complicated' the other night. I thought it great that he found his ex-wife, attractive but not trophy and perfectly fit new wife, more sexy than the woman whom he had left his wife for.

Great twist. Refreshing.

I like to feel fit. It makes me feel good. And possibly more confident. But am I going to be in any magazines? No. I like my bread, pasta and potoatoes too much. And if whom I'm with can't stand that I've not the body to appear in porn...too f'in bad. The doors right there.

Anonymous said...

I so agree with your friend Janet on that. Just look at that wannabe celebrity Heidi Montag or Pratt or whatever her name is. She's had like a bazillion plastic surgeries and had everything fixed from her face, to her boobs, to her cankles and she's STILL not happy with herself! Puh-leeze... get a grip! I think we all need to take a chill pill on that subject.

I had one of my sisters at our parents anniversary party accuse the rest of us of not talking to her because she's beautuful and skinny and smaller than the rest of us and we're all jealous! Excuse me? Nevermind... I'll save that for a rant on my blog... Sorry - got a little carried away.

SuziCate said...

You are beautiful just the way you are! Society puts too much emphasis on look rather than substance. The world is too shallow. And inannasstar said it like it is!!!!!!

LisaF said...

It's not just America that is obsessed with appearance and stick-thin women. It's a worldview that affects every woman on the planet. It's known that a woman's self esteem goes down when looking at a fashion magazine and I can totally understand why.

Unfortunately, most men are visual. They have an impossible time of getting past a woman's appearance to find out if there's anything of substance there. Count yourself fortunate if your man accepts you the way you are, flaws and all. Many must live with constant comments on how to *improve*!