Today is brought to you by the letter P.
P is for Personality
I've got personality!
Monday I went out with the ex-hubby. We went shopping for some dresses and skirt for me, since my regular wardrobe of stretch pants can't be pulled up over my leg cast (broken leg- both lower bones). Then we went to lunch at a cute little place. The waitress was really sweet and since it was a restuarant/bar she was quite chatty too. She said something about us being a cute couple, and we both cracked up- and told her we were divorced. She asked how, and Ex decided to tell her his (incredibly wrong) version of the story. She turned to me and said "You just don't know who you are, do you?" and I almost agreed- almost.
Wait! I do know who I am! I just wasn't the kind of girl who needed to shout from the rooftops who I was. I didn't feel I needed to force my me-ness on anyone. There were a few rules I sorta nagged everyone into following (recycle everything, don't start fires with gasoline, and no racist jokes), I needed those rules because if they weren't followed I feel as if I failed as a mom. Really, the kids now how rules to live by.
but I know who I am! I am a girl with Personaility! I am a mom, a born nurturer, a cat keeper, a dog petter, a furry animal of any sort lover. I love to love, laugh, create, and enjoy. I am a teacher, an artist, a creator, a baker and nurse. I am smart. I have common sense too. I am a goofball, a dork, a graceless wonder. I am a wonderer, a bit of a wanderer, and a witch. (I love alliteration). I am moody, depressive, and told I am stubborn (I don't see it). I need stability, don't like chance (though I will dance with her occasionally), and want to just know I am loved and adored unconditionally.
The problem is, for a time, I thought these labels were me. Instead of just realizing that I am just wonderfully so, me! If I don't feel like being a baker today, then I don't have to be one. If my kids are cranky and don't want to consider me Mom for a bit, that doesn't mean I am not Mom- the mom part is ingrained deep inside me and can never ever ever be erased, even by hurt and angry teenagers.
So, NO! 22 year old waitress and barkeep, I do know who I am. I am a girl with Personality. Fabulous, wonderful, and flawed (thank goodness- who wants to be perfect?) Personality.