Monday, May 3, 2010

Ask Gramma about your Grammar!

This is a common complain that I have.  Most people who know me just roll their eyes as we drive down the street and I correct every stupid sign.  Yesterday, I got the same response from boyfriend.  The sign was in front of a major sporting goods chain.  I am sure the chain should employ at least one person with college smarts. Obviously, that person was not in charge of the sign.  "We got flip flops".  Really? In case this looks all good and normal to you, it should say "we have flip flops" or maybe even "We've got flip flops".  This, my friends, is the dumbing down of America- and don't you even think about blaming your elementary teachers because I clearly remember teaching students this lesson in every freaking lower grade level. You just weren't paying attention.  You were too busy putting gum in Rosie's hair.
            See that?  See the ' sign?  See the apostrophe?  Yeah, the hair belongs to Rosie.  That is why I used it.  To show a possessive.  You can use it that way too!  You can even use it to show a missed letter, as in "don't".  The apostrophe takes place of the o in do not.  See?  You may NEVER NEVER use it for the hell of it.  "We got used car's" is not correct (real sign at a dealership- ask my brother- he rolled his eyes when I told the sales guy to get rid of the apostrophe or I was gonna puke. Ok, Maybe I didn't say it exactly that way, but that's how I felt).
         I used to be a real snob about this.  My mom raised me with strict grammar rules, and it made me feel superior.  Then I started working with kids.  I noticed my spelling abilities began to crumble.  (This is a common early grade teachers' disease, we see so many mispelled words, they all start to look a bit correct).  I also started to play with grammar for fun, you know, like that lol cat, "Me eatz yer cheezeberger".  Then I started dating boyfriend.  The man is smart, let me tell you!  He can build an engine, and figure things out my brain won't even try wrapping around.  But, alas, the man can't spell. And his grammar sucks. 
       I'm less of a snob now.  However, I still withhold my snobbery for American companies.  They should not propagate poor grammar and spelling.  They are the ones that bombard our youths with advertising and brainwashing.  They can at least use spell and grammar check prior to posting anything. 
        Especially when they are paying for a sign!  Gawsh, if you are going to pay big bucks for a sign, then spell check the heck out of it, after that, ask 10 people if it is correct.  "Loose weight now" is not correct.  "Happpy hour" is not correct.  My brother pointed out many signs to us while in Korea and China.  He thinks that Asia should hire an American (who can spell) to check their signs prior to posting any of them.  I only have a picture of one of them, that I posted at the top, from the Great Wall.
       Now, please don't rant and rave about my spelling, gratutious use of commas, parenthesis, and - (whatever those are).  This is a blog.  A form of creative writing.  I call upon the secret powers of artistic license to smooth over any of my own mistakes.


Her Mom said...

I lub me them secret powers!!

K(Banterings of a Basketcase) said...

you gots 'em too too

LisaF said...

I teach college students part time and am amazed at the lack of grammar knowledge. College! I'm known as the Grammar Nazi and I warn them of this on the first day. By the end of the semester, they are happy to be rid of that part of me. After the first year in the real world, they come back and thank me! So, go ahead and be a grammar snob. :)