Monday, May 31, 2010

Face of the Week Monday!

I love this meme: Face of the Week at Spacial Peepol
This week's face is Spike.  He's my brother's classroom pet.  I made him after I received the really cool book "Stupid Sock Creatures".  He's incredibly famous at Seoul Foreign School in Korea.  My Bro's kids would get to take him home on weekends and journal about what they did.  Apparently, he's spilled drinks on laptops and teased multiple dogs.  At this point, he is a little worse for wear, so he's retired.  His younger brother took his place, but Spike still hangs out in the classroom. 

Sunday, May 30, 2010

See? They multiply!

My lovely Mother, Carol, At Wanderings of an Elusive Mind gave me another award>  Nepotism?  I think not! My mom is a fair and unbiased chick.  I am versatile! I deserve the award.  You never know what I am going to talk about!

With the award, I need to divulge seven secrets about myself.  This might be hard, since I probably already give you all too much information in my posts.  LOL

1. I don't normally go for sweets, I would rather have salty crunchy, like chips (mmm- lime or salt and vinegar flavor).  But right now I am addicted to a toffee confection made by a highschool friend: BeckyRoka.  She traded me a box of yummies for one of my sock creatures.  I love the pepper flavored one- it has a background of serrano pepper mixed with the toffee and chocolate.

2. I talk to plants, animals, rocks, stuffed creatures, computers, etc.  Yes, I converse with inanimate objects.  I sometimes believe they actually have human characteristics.  I know the plants, animals, and rocks hear me and feel my love.  The computer may hate me.

3. I dig gargoyles.  I love halloween at Target because they have cool little gargoyles for cheap.  I made a really cool three dimensional wooden gargoyle at my Mom's one summer.  It sat on my roof in Long Beach until he committed suicide.

4.  I also collect cheesy snowglobes.

5.  I love Mae West.  Really, you should youtube her.  (I also love how I can use Youtube and google as verbs now!).  I think May is the perfect mix of bawdy and class.  "It's not the men in your life, but the life in your men".  I think a woman should be a little bawdy, but there is a limit.  It has to be done with class, not crass.  Like Gypsy Rose Lee.  She stripped without stripping!

6. I am a grammar snob.  I know when I type my blog I don't always use the correct punctuation or grammar.  I already stated that I use artistic license! But (I know, you can't start a sentence with but), I corrected papers in college from people who were supposed to be Master's degree students- and some of them could not differentiate between there, their, or they're, or two, too, and to!  These people were writing term papers for a higher degree, they had spell check! In social situations, I am a lot more realxed about it.

7.I have big plans, but a lot* of the time, I lack the drive.  I want to plant an herb garden, paint a picture, sew a quilt, join a coven, read various pieces of educational literature, etc....But, they all take time and energy.  I have an excuse right now with the leg, but I really don't think getting the cast off will help with getting some of these plans done.  Until I hit an energy spurt, then I'll get most done in a few days (that happens every few months). Money is also a factor with things like the garden (I'll need a few bags of soil to fix the container garden here).

* I love hyperbole and a half's way of explaining a lot

I'm passing this award to Innanastar at Ramblings of a Domestic Witch.  Her blog is mighty versatile.  One day she might be telling off snobs ( I love the picture on that post)  the next day she is showing me what I want for dinner!
For the record, I subscribe to 25 or so blogs, I love them all! I think reading them, and looking at the pretty pictures of some, is one thing that is keeping me sane during my homebound period.  If you have time, check out the people in my sidebar- they are all wonderful and witty!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

awards beget awards

This one is from Suzicate at Water Witch's Daughter.  She's a real good read.  She says no strings are attached and there are no rules to this one.  So I get to post a pretty picture on my page.  If you feel the need to award yourself for a great blog- grab it.  If you visit my blog and I'm not yet following yours, grab it but leave a message so I can see who you are.
I have a follower or two that I don't know what blog they are attached to! Lemme know.  I appreciate seeing your little faces on my page and would love to know what you have to say each day in your blog.
If you are here and bored- go to the bottom right of my blog and feed the hamster.  He's cute.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Big Fat Buttinskys

The kids and Ex and I went to lunch the other day.  (Lemme interject here- give you some background- the Ex is a big guy, he knows it, whatever.  I am an "average sized american female- I know I have a butt and a bit of belly pooch- whatever.  The lunch we ate was a late lunch, we hadn't had breakfast either and Ex probably wouldn't eat dinner, so)  Ex ordered for all of us.  4 combos.  I had mine with a gyro and extra crispy fries- mmmmm.  Diet coke because I haven't had one in weeks.  Double mmmmm.  Then he added 2 tacos on the side.  He didn't state who the two tacos were for (we have a 17 year old son, I would've assumed they were for him).  The order-taker-guy looked at Ex and said "that's a lot of food!".  You know what he was implying.
This happens all the time.  Ex said that a fellow person waiting for jury duty did the same thing to him - saying "if you only lost 30 pounds....".  I have people around me who feel the need to comment on what I eat too.  The other day I had only a small piece of steak and half of a baked potato and half a peice of corn on the cob.  So a few hours later I wanted sweet.  I chose a banana with a teaspoon of peanut butter and a drizzle of chocolate.  This is a sound snack! Even though people around me got on my case about not eating healthy- this was a healthy snack: a fruit, protein to fill me up, and fat free sauce that would take care of my sweet tooth!  Well meaning people who think they know what they are talking about (and even if they do) feel the need to regulate other people.  That's wrong.
Do you think Ex is in the dark about his weight? Why do you assume that he is not trying to lose any?  Isn't it his choice to lose or not?
Do you assume I am not educated about what I eat? I took food and nutrition classes in college!  I was a diet counselor! It is my choice what to put in my mouth, and quite frankly, my choices are not bad choices.
Does Ex tell you how you should have financed your car?  Do I look over your shoulder and correct your spelling?  Do I stop smokers and tell them they are killing themselves?  Do I harass stressed about people by informing them that stress will kill them?  Did Ex tell nurse lady that if she only wore brown eyeliner instead of black, her face would look much younger?
Why do people feel they need to regulate others?  Friends, lovers, spouses maybe do it because they care- and they worry- I understand that.  But strangers?  WTH?
During our 17 year marriage, Ex and I never said a word to each other about weight.  We supported one another through various diets (kind of*). Weight was just not a factor in our relationship because we cared about the other person emotionally and that surpasses physical.  And yes, even when we went through heavy periods, it didn't change that we had the hots for each other. 
I liked that security.  It made me feel like I owned my own body.  No one had the right to decide for me what I should weigh.  I bounced up and down about 30 pounds (not counting the 100 plus I gained while pregnant with the first kid).  I primarily stayed between 140-170 depending on schedule and mood.  I like myself at 140-150.  I can accept myself up to 170.  I was in charge though- I chose how I wanted to eat without someone else on my back saying " I thought you wanted to avoid carbs..." "do you really need one more beer?". I'm struggling now with being in charge though- I don't cook because this is not my house, so foods I'd normally choose like veggies are an afterthought- and the cast deters exercise.
Wow- a bit of a tangent there, ha?  The post was about how people feel that they have the right to butt into a person's life regarding weight.  They sometimes butt in with other stuff like parenting in a grocery store, but weight seems like open season all the time.  I know you're judging me while I am eating icecream- how do you know I didn't count calories all day long and get extra time on the treadmill to be able to enjoy this?  Are fat people supposed to only eat celery?
Why do people feel it is based on intake only?  All bodies are different.  I know lots of skinny people.  I know quite a few who stay that way through starvation (been there, done that, no thanks, I'd rather be fat). I know a few who are skinny because they eat the proper amount of food primarily because food doesn't really interest them much (Mom).  I know a few skinnybutts who eat everything in sight and still don't gain a pound (grrrr).  Fat people are the same way- some overeat, some undereat, some eat just right.

Point of this post?  Stop judging! Stop telling strangers what they should do.  It's none of your business. and "assuming makes an ass out of u and me".

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Life is Good Award

Lyn at Witch Blog was sweet enough to nominate me for the Life is good reward.  With the reward, comes a list of questions that I'll see if I can answer. You should check out her site, she has some really neat crafts going on, like orgonite- ever heard of it?

1. Do you believe in reincarnation?
I do.  I don't know if everybody goes through it, but I do believe some people go through it.  My second son, Tobin, was born an "old soul".  My mom even commented on how it looked like he was reading your thoughts when he stared at us as a baby.  He had an old man's sense of humor at 2. 
My first son guards his food when he eats.  He always has.  He was an only child for three years, so it is not like he worried about siblings stealing his food.  I wonder if personality traits like that come from a past life.
I read a book- was it "Audrey Rose"?- early in life that made me really consider reincarnation.  What makes me mad is all the people out there claiming to be someone famous like George Washington or Cleopatra. If reincarnation exists, we have more of a chance to have been someone common, kind of like we have more of a chance now to be an average joe.

2. What is your favourite season and why?
Every Autumn I say "I love this time of year!" The cool breeze, cute sweaters, soups and stews, pumpkin flavored things, and Halloween!
The Every Spring, I say the same thing.  The blooming flowers, chance at a garden, cute sundresses, fresh salads, and Beltane!
I can't decide
3. If you could could time travel, what time would you travel to and where in the world?
I think I'd stay in the now- I feel more comfortable here, though I do like ren faire clothing :).  I want to visit England (all the henges, Avebury, etc), Ireland, Costa Rica, the Galapagos Islands, Greece, and Bermuda.

4. Your favourite place to be?I love my Mommy's house.  Sitting on her deck in the morning with a cup of coffee, or at night with too much wine and a game with the kids and Bro.
I love my boyfriend's arms at night. Snuggling is my favorite hobby.
I love lying in bed on a rainy day in a blanket reading a book.
and lately, I have really enjoyed laughing with the kids and Ex when we go to Dave and Busters or watch a movie.

5. Your favourite element and why?
Ohhh- I cant answer that! It depends on my mood- If I am feeling flighty and anxious, earth (cuz I obviously need it).  If I am needing comfort, water.  If I am feeling stuck, air.  If I am feeling dispassionate, fire.  I like the physical properties of all- the plants of earth, the way the wind blows the grass or a feather around, the power of the ocean, and the dance of fire.  Fire is the one that I least understand but it fascinates me.
( This question is subjective people!- I could also look at the periodic chart and answer one of those- so take it how you read it.  I read it as 4 elements, not counting spirit)

6. Are you a cat or a dog person?
Cat.  I love dogs too- or basically anything living (except cockroaches, ants, silverfish, and mosquitoes). I am the girl who tells a spider that she must go live outside.  But at one time, I cared for 6 cats, and deeply mourn the loss of my favorite (shhhh- don't tell the others) who left when I left the house.

7. Do you remember a particularly mad dream and if you do what was it?
The other night, I dreamt I was teaching, and my shirt and bra kept disappearing.  I tried to redress myself with out anyone noticing, I didn't want to shock the kids nor get fired.  The next night I dreamt I was telling someone about the previous nights dream, and this time all my clothes disappeared.  I was sitting in a large room full of people and I was naked!

8. Favourite food?
Pasta.  cream sauce makes it even better.  Add fresh roasted veggies and I'm in heaven

9. Books or T.V?
Books.  I watch TV when I am too lazy to read or do something creative.  Even then, I feel like I need to be crocheting or sewing at the same time.

10. Star sign?

I’d like to pass this award with the same questions on to:
Jennie at Imagination Cakes and Carol at Wanderings of an Elusive Mind

If any questions don't interest you, replace them with these:

*If you had a choice to do anything you wanted for a day, what would it be?
*Name 5 things on your "bucket list" that you have not yet accomplished.
*Choose a symbol that represents you best- why?

And Thank You Lyn!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

S is for Sushi!

It's S day at ABC wednesdays. So, I get to Showcase my Scrumdilliumptious Sushi. It's not real Sushi, it's made out of rice krispy treats, Silly.

First, gather what you need together-
For Sushi,  I used candy oranges that I squished down (with a rolling pin) to look like Salmon.  I've also seen those Swedish fish used. 
For the rolls, I used some sort of viney candy- Sour Straws(?), I think.
Then for both, to Simulate Seaweed, I used green apple fruit roll ups.

For the Sushi, I made rice krispy treats, pushed them into sushi rice molds, then popped them out.  You could also just form them into a small oval or rectangle and get the same effect.  I placed the Squished candy on top, and wrapped a thin Strip of fruit roll up around it.

For the roll, I lay the rice krispy treat down thinly, cut it into a rectangle, placed the red and green candy in the center, and rolled it up like a jelly roll.  Then I wrapped the fruit roll up around it and sliced it into 1/2" slices.

I added the green decor paper that I found in an asian market to make it look more realistic.  You can also color some frosting a nice wasabi green and dollop that around for effect.

That's my S!


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Whore- yes, you read it right

I worked at a show this weekend set up for extreme sports- quads, trailers, side by sides, big trucks, etc.  I already had an issue with these types of shows because of the number of vendors who feel they need scantily clad women to bring attention to their stuff.  Don't tell me "boys will be boys"- because that is so not true- and because their stuff should sell itself (just like Carl's junior burgers should).
Anyhow, I am not going to go off on that tangent. I am going to show you what I had to stare at all day because they were the booth across from us:
I added the link in case it's your kind of thing, and because it is only fair since I stole their graphic. 

Here's the issue- what the heck? ( I know she forms a W for whore- but still) Do you really want to imagine your mom, daughter, aunt, grandma, or wife in this position for all the world to see?  Why do we think it's OK to objectify women like this?  Is this all men think women are good for? Or that women think they are good for?  Like all the women working the booths in almost no clothing.
I know, I know, I've been there before- I've been the girl dressed in spandex loving the attention it got me. I've been the person on and off all my life.  Who doesn't like attention?  But really, I'm learning I want people to value me for who I am, not for what I look like.  Especially when what I looked like at 16 isn't what I look like at 38.  Although I am not putting my looks down right now- I like how I look now.
I'm just saying- our society values boobs and butt and spread eagle emblems way too much.  We accept young men being lecherous and say "boys will be boys".  I'm proclaiming it is all disrespectful! It's disrespectful to womankind to have this emblem staring at me all day (even though I think a woman started the business).
As the Ex said when I told him about the emblem- "some people have no class".

Monday, May 24, 2010

Face of the Week- Origami

It's Face of the Week day at Spacial Peepol again!  This is my daughter's favorite kitty, Origami. He has a facebook page as well, it's under Oris Gami.  My brother calls him AIrplane ears. grin*

Ori was left at the Ex's shop in a box with his sister, who we adopted as well.  He had to be just old enough to be weaned.  One of his parent's had to have scottish fold in the genetics, thus the ears.

Ori is an awesome guy.  He has babied the other kittens that have come and gone.  He tolerated the daughter through the hyper years (she was even hyper when she slept).  He lays around without complaint. I guess you could say that he is one cool cat.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Thyme is up!

You might not be able to see it, but the Thyme has popped up in the back!  I can save it in a bottle! I bought the aerogarden as a sorta impulse buy- because I wanted to start gardening, but can't see myself doing any hard work on crutches.  I also though that my mom and dad would enjoy one as they are eating healthier now- and their fresh tomatoes might need a bit of basil (and mozerella with a hint of olive oil and salt). (and a side of crispy french bread.)! Right Brother?  Right in 'thyme' for our visit.
What do I use thyme for? also coming up are basil, which I love, and chives.

ok- I'll talk to you later! I'll be sorta working with boyfriend at the Orange County Fairgrounds Extreme Sport Expo (or something of that sort)- talking up the wonderful golf carts that he "pimps". I'll be back Monday.  If anyone has a cool friday meme (how do you pronounce that?) for me to try-I'd be happy to go with it.
I'm also quite thrilled that google keeps telling me that I could print this out as a book whenever I feel like it.  What a cool memory book that would be! When I am 80 I can laugh at how I was thirty eight and still a bit drama like a teen ager! My kids can make fun of me!  fun to be had by all (really- I might just do it).
see you later! crocodiles!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Buddy, Doogan

Thank the Gods I happen to have my buddy Doogan around. He's been with me for 31 years. He's always there when I have a pity party. He's put up with 20 years of my PMS, and he still welcomes me with open arms and a good snuggle.

Am I weird?  or does any other thirty eight year old still turn to a "stuffed animal" friend?  If I'm weird, I'll own it and carry it proudly.

PS- Thanks for listening to my pity party last night :)

warning: emotional and prone to self-pity

I sometimes get a severe case of the blues- I know, how weird, right?  I seem so sane and put together-lol. But, alas, I am imperfect, and extreme emotional circumstances coupled with pms are very bad for me.  So, tonight is one of those nights.  I can't sleep.  It is really not because I had a beautiful cup of coffee just a few hours ago.  It's because my brain is on overload.

I went out with the kids and Ex tonight.  It originally started off that I was going to hunker down and watch some teen picked rental movies, but the maileperson brought our horses for a video game we play, and since Wednesday is half price on said video game, we took off to a nationwide franchise of videogames and food (it rhymes with wave and lusters).  During said period of time, we ate dinner, I drank three beers (really- three in like 4 plus hours) and imbibed in dessert.  I rarely treat myself to dessert and I limit my three beer drinking to once a week, so this night was tops for me. Even if I did get repeatedly smashed in the horse racing competition by my teenage son.

So, I got home at 930ish.  and boyfriend was home! wow.  Boyfriend has been working til at least eleven for two weeks now- he even worked Sunday.  I let myself in through the garage (stupidly leaving the garage opener in the car- but oh well), turned off the ungodly light of the aerogrow, draped my crutches over the staircase banister, and slithered off to bed.

I said "wow!" to boyfriend, "you sure are home early, how was work?" I got a " idontwannatalkabout it". Okkkay.  I said "well, I had a great time, we even had a donut and coffee after.  I havent had coffee in two weeks, and mmm it was so good" ( I can't figure out how to pour coffee and get it to the couch while walking on crutches).  BF said " why would you do that?" Okayyy.  Nevermind then.  I can't tell if BF hates that I drank a beer without him around, if he feels it is evil to have a beer when I want, or if he's just so tired that jerkiness is oozing out of him.  Or, if, omg, I am moody and reading this whole situation wrong.

So, I say, " I am going to go check the garage.  I recall closing the door, and turning off the light, but my anxiety is making me think I have to recheck it" ( anxiety and ocd sometimes hold depression's hand). I get "SIGH, I'll do it" then, when he comes back and off course I have closed the garage, " you didn't tell Dad you were home so everything was open, sigh".  Wait! the crutches draped over the banister and ungodly light turned off were not enough?  This is a man who notices everytime I get up to pee during the night,  he didn't notice I was home? anyhooo-

I then start beating myself up.  Am I that much of a pain in the butt?  Is three beers too many? Is it bad to go out and enjoy myself?  Why do I, a 38 year old woman, need to report my every movement to people (people who need to make note of my drinking and eating, but not their own) - ach, sorry- that was a bit crabby there.
So, I thought I'd let you know how depression feels. I drew a picture a while ago:

see the big ugly dude?  He's depression.  You can't really control him when he wants to sneak up on you.  Well, you can sometimes- like I can by going to work or getting involved with something that takes my mind off him for a minute- but once nighttime hits and someone says something the least bit negative, he comes creeping in. If someone that big and ugly can creep.  See me?  I feel shackled- thats the shackle on my leg.  I become needy for love and acceptance.  I need someone to tell me I am ok.  How pitiful, you'd think and old woman like me would know I am super-fly all the time.
When does this menopause thing start?  I am really tired of this pms crap.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

R is for Random

I have lots of R's for the ABC wednesday post.  I, unlike others (ahem, MOM), will actually post it on Wednesday!

The first R is a ditty that keeps running through my head for the mathematical term : range
It is sung to the tune of 3 blind mice
Mean, median, mode
mean, median, mode
Mean is the one you add and divide
median is the one in the middle of the line
mode is the one you see most the time
Mean median mode.
 I know! Lovely!

The second word would be rest or relaxation.  I think too many people equal that with lazy.  Just because my body does well with nine hours of sleep (sometimes more) doesn't mean I am lazy!  Just because I choose not to fill my time with inane "have to do's" like vacuuming every day, doesn't mean I am lazy! Life is short, and although I sleep a lot of it, I also choose not to rush through the day feeling constricted by have to dos! I like to relax. Don't get me wrong- I love my job- if I could be in the classroom everyday (monday through friday) I would be thrilled.  But I am equally thrilled at going home at five, putting my feet up, and reading a good book.  Or spending a few hours in bed watching a movie.  I am just not aggressive with my time- if you feel you need to be, go to it!  If you feel you need to overwork yourself for the sake of title or money- that's your thing.  I won't ask you to sit next to me and enjoy a margarita- so please don't expect me to wish to conquer the world in a day.

The third word is Randy.  I prefer to refer to him as boyfriend.  For those of you from the UK- yes, his name cracks me up too.  He is a male, so it fits him well.  I'm not going to extoll his virtues here on my blog for all to see ( too mushy).  It speaks for itself that I am with him because obviously, I adore him.
(He's smiling on the inside)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Lunch with Princesses

I had lunch with two princesses on Sunday.  How do I know they were princesses?  They just had their nails done with glitter nailpolish, silly!  These princesses were the upmost hostesses.  The set about teaching me princess ways, since I am certainly not of royal upbringing.

First, a princess should always wear her best our in public.  Luckily, I had worn a pretty sundress and a lovely sweater that one of the princesses borrowed as she grew chilly.  I was warmed from beer and the walking on crutches, so all was well. These princesses always wear dresses fit for tea or the grand ball.  And, as I said, their nails were done beautifully.

Second, a princess should order what she wishes, even if it is not on the menu.  Princess Becca orderered hotwings, little hamburgers, pizza, chicken tenders, and nachos.  Luckily, each of these things were on the menu, and a few were on the tables of her royal court, so she got to eat a bite of everything.  Princess Sarah did not fair so well.  She ordered oreos, brownies, hotdogs with catsup, and chips.  None of which were on the menu.  So she settled on sharing her sister's food, though I think she primarily ate only french fries which she painstakenly covered in catsup prior to eating.  I mean, every inch of the fry was rubbed down with catsup!
Lemme give you a side note here:  The Princesses father is an evil man with a metabolism that mocks fat ladies everywhere.  I think I once heard him complain about gaining a pound bringing him nearly up to one hundred fifty pounds (what's that?  ten and half stones?).  The princesses were given this metabolism, I was not- so I don't think I'll be able to copy their eating style. Though I did order what I wanted and ate a big bowl of cheese and broccoli soup- mmmm.

Third, princesses should have skills.  Both princesses excelled at the matching game on my phone.  They won it so quickly I realized I'd have to find a harder game for them next trip out.   They were also artists.  They lay on the floor like Michelangelo would lay on some contraption to paint a ceiling.  They decorated my cast in the most lovely of colors and designs.  I am assured that my name is on my cast and at least 5 butterflies.  They sure know their patron, since I like butterflies.

all and all, my day with the princesses was almost "the best day ever"- they might think the day above was the best day ever- lol- the princess are the ones facing the camera.  with them, is little princess Alex who was too busy to lunch with me.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Chexy Wexy

For my face of the week with Spacial Peepol, I have chosen to showcase my kids' dog.  I know, Isn't she gorgeous?  The epitamy of beauty and elegance.  I think they call her ugly-sexy, quite frankly.  Her name started out as Chex, when we got her about 7 years ago, because she is chihuahua and pug: chinese mexican, ch-ex- get it?  Anyway, she became Chexy rather quickly, and Chexy is sexy, chunky, and now Chexy Wexy.  I assume she let the kids know her last name when she started her own facebook account.  The dog has a nose!  She pretends she can't hear, and her eyes are looking old, but drop a taquito under the couch and she will guard it for a month (or more)!  If you want to see her enjoying food, I might be able to dig up the old youtube video of her eating her lollipop-

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Bad TV Shows- Wedding crap

Ok.  I admit it.  I gave up wedding blogs, but I still watch crappy wedding TV.  I don't know why.  I just can't help it. The particular show I am about to grump about is after "Say Yes to the Dress", and although I won't name the show, I'll tell you that it has 4 brides comparing each other's 4 weddings.

First, they introduce you to four brides.  They each get a cute moniker next to their name like, say, "traditional bride" or "rock and roll bride".  Then, three of them go as a group to each other's wedding and rate the whole experience on a one to ten scale.  Then, so they don't try to win by underscoring the other's weddings, they have to rate the three weddings they attended on a first, second, and third place scale for venue, dress, and food.

Sounds OK?  Sounds fair? Yeahhh.  The bride who wins gets a free honeymoon.  Only, they have completely different tastes, completely different types of friends, and hugely different budgets.

So, the first wedding they go to is "breakfast bride"'s.  She has everyone get up at crack of dawn to go to a rooftop and have breakfast.  The buffet is first, then the ceremony.  The bride wears a pretty white dress to great everyone and gets ooohs and ahhs from the 3 brides.  Then she changes into a turquoise dress for the actual nuptials, which are outside, in full hot sun.
Bitch Traditional bride grumps about the food- "I don't like eggs, I don't like french toast, wah wah wah".  Beach bride grumps that there isn't mimosas.  Other bride doesn't like how hot the ceremony is.  They all agree the dress is OK- however untraditional, because the turquoise was to honor breakfast bride's mom.

I'm not gonna review all the weddings- I'm just gonna say that bitch Traditional bride grumped at every single one of them- made faces everytime she took a bite- hated if the wedding timing was different than hers- you know: wedding, reception( cocktails, dinner, dancing, cake cutting, garter, father's dance, etc etc etc crap).  Traditional bride actually said- this is a freaking quote "If it has worked for THOUSANDS of years, why change it"!!!!! Really?  Like more than 2010 years ago they got married like that?  At the beginning of the common era they wore white dresses and allowed a woman to turn into a monster when she became a bride? 
OK- and I am just saying, some of these traditions should be researched prior to going along with them: because women were treated a lot differently thousands of years ago.  The cake feeding is a promise to wait on the groom and his family- I don't really want to promise that.  Nor do I like when grooms destroy their bride's faces with sugar frosting.

ANYWAY- back to the subject at hand.  Some of the brides were kind to the others, saying things like "it's a neat way to do the wedding" or "the venue was gorgeous".  But there is always that one- the one who makes faces with every bite she takes.  The one who abhors anything untraditional.  Grumping about how the other brides did things differently. Other brides also grumped about the other guests- what?  Bride on trial has to school her guests on how to make friends with three judgemental girls who don't quite fit in? (this bride had older, quieter, gentle people as her guests as opposed to party whores who hate chicken).
More questions: All brides are supposed to pay $70 a plate like traditional bride did? What about Ghetto bride who'd rather eat fried chicken (MMMMMM) than poached salmon? (I'm using the term Ghetto in a "Ghetto fabulous" kind of way).  What about church bride who doesn't want her boobs pushed up over her dress? should she still wear the strapless number traditional bride wore?  What about recovering alcoholic bride?  Does she HAVE to have a champagne toast?
I always thought weddings were about gathering all the people you love together to celebrate a union between two people who want to dedicate their lives to each other.  I thought the food, decor, and music should represent the couple and maybe even their close friends.  Not stranger brides who attend their wedding.  Ghetto bride should have fried chicken.  Mexican bride should get down to the mariachi.  German bride has every right to do the chicken dance.  Everyone should have the chicken dance (except stuffy traditional bride). 
Weddings should never be about keeping up the Jones Bride, or going into debt.
Anyhoo- the show ends with one bride winning a honeymoon.  Since there are no points for originality or if the wedding truly represented the couple, basically the person who spent the most money on venue, food, and booze wins.  The one who looks great in her dress also gets some good points.
and that, my friends, is crap TV.

Friday, May 14, 2010

I figured out what I'm doing wrong!

I went with the Ex yesterday to a doctor's appointment, then lunch, then a pedicure, then pick up my meds.  It was a great day.  I love pedicures, and my poor feet sure needed attention. I also like that I can read magazines for free during my pedicure.
So I picked up one that shall remain nameless, but it apparently was written for cosmopolitan women, and read it.  I actually read 3 of that magazine.  Every issue has the same advice on how to please your man in bed.  Really? Do I need to read this every month?  What?  You think I forget between issues?
One issue had a quiz.  This quiz is supposed to pinpoint if you have let yourself go, or if you have become to comfortable in your relationship, and therefore (gasp) are in danger of losing your man.  The questions were like "do you still shave your legs every day?" " have you asked him to pop a hard to reach pimple?" "do you brush your hair and apply a bit of makeup even if you are spending the day at home?"- or something imbecilically similar to those. 
Gawsh! Thanks! NOW I know what went wrong in my 17 year marriage.  I must have forgotten to shave my legs daily.  Or I didn't wake up and apply makeup before he awoke. Jeesh

Isn't a long term relationship about getting comfortable?  Don't you wanna be with someone who loves and adores you even though you might occasionally get a blemish or become hairy?  Do I also get marked down as a bad partner because I have gained a few pounds and my boobs are saggier than when I was twenty?  When I am reallllllly old- like 105- and might need a diaper change, is my man going to leave me then?
They didn't have a male version of the quiz either- "does your man fart in bed?" "does he no longer apply cologne?" " does he wear his ratty t-shirts to go our with you instead of dressing up?"- so I guess it is solely up to the women of the relationships to keep them going!
I really have to find better reading material.  Someone recommended some fun books written by Terry Pratchet- maybe I'll brings those next time I get my toes done.
Until then, I'll shave my legs because I hate when they are hairy and itchy.  I'll put makeup on only when I damn well please, and I'll thank the Gods that I have people who love me even if I have have a pimple or a bit of a gut.
*Tried bigger text to see if it is better
*That is a picture of me, this past summer, from behind a shower curtain, sans makeup, and I was TOLD to make a funny face.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Ducks and a murder

I woke up this morning way to freaking early! WAAAYYY too early. Like, 6 am. Since I have been housebound, my hours have been rearranged. Probably because I like night time TV better than morning TV, and I've always been a sleeper inner. I like to get up between 9 and 10. Sometimes I sleep until one. When suffering a serious case of the blues, I didn't get out of bed all day and slept most of it.

Why'd I wake up so early you ask? Well, because boyfriend woke up that early. But usually I can go back to sleep. I couldn't this morning because a few ducks and a murder of crows were having an argument right outside my window!!!!


This picture is blurry- but you can see how cute the ducks are anyway.  I live about a block away from a huge park.  It is square, and each side is a mile long.  There are two huge ponds within this park and we are situated in the middle of both of the ponds.  On top of that, the tract I live in has a cozy little quiet park.  So, a pair of ducks come over here from the big park every Spring looking for a good spot to have a family.  They walk around the block every morning.  I can just imagine them as a sweet older couple, holding hands as they stroll. 
Normally I like crows.  They are very intelligent and quite funny.  But I think, I suspect, that they are the ones who started the fight with the ducks.  These ducks are nice!  They are not like mean ol' geese. But crows have a bad reputation.  And bullying kind of fits that reputation, don't you agree? This fight went on for about 45 minutes! There were obviously more crows than ducks, too.  The less courageous of the crows staying in the trees and yelling "fight fight fight" in crow language!
I sure hope that they got it out of their system.  I want to sleep in tomorrow, and I'd love to see the ducks frequent our neighborhood without having to watch their backs.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Q is for Quads

Ah! Another week of ABC wednesdays!  You thought Q would be hard?  nope.  I could post about my favorite shiny things- quartz crystals, or about my kids' favorite form of entertainment- Quads!  Since I focused on my middle child 2 days ago, and my youngest on yesterday's post, today I will focus on my oldest- my huge 17 year old boy.

These pictures were taken a few years ago.  Since then, he has taken up motorcycles, and become a little more daring.  I was so excited when I could get 6 inches of air- but look at this! It's like, WOW! His fearlessness and skill amaze me.  Oh, I'm sorry- skillz with a z. (makes it more current and hip) :)


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My Baby turns 14!

Gosh, she is amazing.  In every way!  She seems to be just full of confidence, energy, smarts, and beauty.  Both inner and outer beauty.  Lemme tell you, the picture does not capture her natural smile nor the mint green color of her eyes.  It doesn't show you that at 14, she is about 5'8" and healthy thin. Not unnaturally thin. 
She also has a great sense of humor.  And she is a bit of a tomboy.  I like that.  She rides quads and dirt bikes.  She plays video games and wrestles with her brother.  She lives in a house of men and can match them step for step (but in a nicer womanly pretty less smelly way)

Everybody wants to be near her.  They can't help it.  She's just lovely.
she'll be 14 tomorrow! wow

Monday, May 10, 2010

Face of the week: Tobin David Geoffrey

I decided to join face of the week.  The idea seems fun and there's lots of pretty pictures people put up to go with the theme.  Today my face of the week goes along with the Mother's Day post yesterday.  I am not merely the mother of two children, I am the mother of the late Toby-wan-kanobi as well.

Toby was born in 1995.  He was a hoot! He had the weirdest sense of humor, dry and witty, like someone much older than he.  In 1997, on our way to Alabama, while in Texas, he was feeling miserable.  We at first thought it was just the flu, but then his stomach started bulging and when he rubbed his eyes they bruised.  After a series of crappy attempts, we finally arrived in the correct ER and were told that he had cancer. Neuroblastoma. Stage 4, aggravated, deciminated, amplified by genes. Yeah- cruddy prognosis. 

Toby practically lived in that hospital.  He went through chemo and radiation.  He took it like a champ (because no one ever told him that this was an abnormal thing to go through- seriously, it's yucky, but we gotta do it).  He showed 11 year olds how to take medicine without complaint.  He wooed all the nurses.  Firemen gave him real fire boots, a helmet, and a patch.  He represented the hospital's religious division, cancer floor, and cancer charity.  He basically rocked.

After 6 months of treatment, Tobin had a bone marrow transplant.  His older brother (5 at the time) was kind enough to exchange his bone marrow through a painful procedure for a "happy meal and balloons".
 A few weeks later, he stopped breathing.  I think something happened with the meds they were giving him to make him pee- but I can't be sure.  He was brought down to the ICU from the Bone Marrow unit and put on life support (that breathing machine).
We sat with him and talked to him, and left tapes to play to him when we weren't there just in case he could still hear us.  They had put him into a drug induced coma so he'd rest better and not fight the machine. But the machine can hurt the lungs so that was a crap shoot anyway. We fought for him when the mean old doctor told us to give up.
The nurses in the ICU were great.  The rest of the hospital staff that visited the ICU stunk.  They walked into his room without a mask and without scrubbing- Hello! he had no immune system! Then one of them rinsed Tobin's nose sucker out with tap water (there were boxes of sterile water in the room just for that reason).  Texas tap water harbors a fungus called aspergillus.  To normal human beings it is fine, to immuno-suppressed humans, it is dangerous.  The fungus quickly invaded his body and killed him.
The autopsy showed the cancer had come back.  We were losing a downhill battle anyway.  But I was upset over lack of protocol.  I wrote to the hospital and expressed my concerns.  I was told by one of Toby's favorite nurses, that now there is a huge book outlining BMT to ICU protocol because of Tobin.
He had died 3 weeks before his third birthday.  We held him one last time and said our goodbyes.  His good friends, the pigeons outside his window, flew away as he drew his last breath.  We were, I was, extremely blessed to know him for the short time I did.
I love you, Bo-bo, Mom

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!

I have the bestest mommy ever!
some darn fabulous kids of my own!


Saturday, May 8, 2010


Today, just as I said I would, I'm reposting something I wrote in 2006.  It still stands true today. Yesterday I was a bit bitter and crappy feeling, so just know that those in my life that I grump about are also wonderful caring people.

I hate bullies. The kind that say "Let's paint a flower" and then tell you you have to paint a flower their way or you don't get to paint at all.

I hate bullies. Especially those who hit you and then whine that you hurt their hand. Then you have to apologize cause the teacher didn't see the whole thing.
I hate bullies that yell at you whenever your opinion isn't akin to theirs. Then you're stuck in an eternal timeout cause the bully didn't use their quiet voice.
I hate bullies that use their loudness and pushyness to get their way and don't give a crap that underneath their feet is the person they've been trampling on daily.
Bullies squash creativity. Bullies diminish magic. Bullies destroy the psyche. Bullies slowly eat at your soul until you become repressed and lifeless and can't move without strings on your limbs and a hand up your ass.
Are you a bully/ are you a dumb doll?


I feel I must add a little something to this- so I'll have two post scripts:
P.S.  Bullying in 2010 seems worse. Some TV shows seem to glorify bullies a little bit.  The pretty popular girl who is really a bully underneath her make-up and push-up bras is one such character.  Another type, less intrusive, but a borderline bully, is the person in shows like Punked.  I also see this crap on MTV shows like 16 and pregnant. The cruddy thing is, this bullying now has farther reaching technology.  Kids are being emotionally destroyed through texts and social pages like facebook.

P.S.S I find that I am both a bully and a puppet.  I hate being either of these. 
I'm kinda breaking the puppet crud, but I find I've become a bully at times. Yesterday, primarily because I was crabby and depressed (I call it feverish cabin depression), I was mean to the boyfriend.  I asked him out to dinner and he gave me an "I don't know"  so I sulked, and whined, and was not too nice.  I really felt like I needed to get out of the house, I NEEDED to spend some quality time with boyfriend, and I was upset and angry that he didn't feel the same way.
So, just as I described the bullies above, I was mad he didn't share my opinion and I punished him for it.  Not horribly punished, but just enough to start an arguement that shouldn't have happened.
I don't like me when I am that way.  I sure need to find some other way to meet my needs without inflicting pain on others in the process. I'm Sorry, boyfriend.

* picture from

Friday, May 7, 2010

Things I hate

First, Lemme tell you, I just reread my myspace blog- and things I wrote 2 years ago still fit today, so you might get some blast to the past posts from me.  Like, Tomorrow- I am posting a short note I wrote about bullies.

Today I will write about things I hate- and the list is neither complete nor in order.

1. Bullies (see tomorrow's post)

2. Teachers who lecture about how lecture based teaching isn't good

3. Teachers who give you and a- or b when you clearly did A work

4. People who speak with angry voices all the time

5. People who bitch all the time

6. People who say crappy stupid things about you when you can hear : case in point:
        Yesterday, the boyfriend's father came home from a trip.  The dog hadn't eaten her food because she refuses to eat til boyfriend gets home and boyfriend came home at midnight the night before.  The father says to dog right outside the room I am sitting in "THEY don't know how to stir your food- that's why you didn't eat".  WTH? I do too know how to stir food! And why would you even say that where you know I can hear?  do you get some perverse joy out of badmouthing me to a dog?  This might not seem like a lot to you, but it happens with other things as well- I hear "she threw away the broken steak knife"- Oh no I didn't! and stop accusing me prior to asking- she is right here within asking distance.

7. People who get pissed off if you call them on above trait: case in point:
          I didn't call him out on the dog thing, it wouldn't help anyway.  He's an old codger,  at times can be kind in his controlling way, but he's also never gonna change.  I called him out on some situation a while ago.  I said something to him that was like "No, I didn't throw away your broken steak knife, and it bothers me that you assume I would".  He threw a hissy fit! "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS REACT IN A NEGATIVE WAY?  I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING MEAN TO YOU! YOURE SO EMOTIONAL" (He had put the steak knife in another room to dry)

8. People who save things like broken steak knives.  Sure, it's been reglued together, but it rebreaks everytime we use it.  And, you have two knife thingys- I dont think we need 16 steak knives.  We are also supposed to never throw away VCRs that don't work, back packs, or other things we might want to use someday.  Sad thing is, when my favorite dress somehow slipped into the trash can, no one questioned that!

9. The song "Muskrat Love".  Dont know why I can't stand it, but I can't

10. Liver and beets

11. People who count how many beers I have had. If I wanna drink 10 and pay for it in the morning, then lemme drink 10 (though I don't think I ever would, unless given like a whole day)

12. Misplaced anger.  I even hate it when it comes from myself.  I know you're angry from something that happened at work, but yelling at me won't help.  I took my anger out by yelling at cars in front of me, stupid commercials on TV, etc.( Then I got a nice antidepressant)

13.  Stupid commercials on TV.  Case in point: One commercial says "Like a robot, I kept using the same tampon every period"  WHAT?  When did robots get so advanced that they actually have a "moon time"?

14. Men, especially ones with wonderful wives, who drool at every passing girl. Really, you're not twenty anymore.  Your hormones should be in check and you should have learned how to be respectful, especially to your wonderful wife who clearly deserves better.  and don't give me any of that "Boys will be boys" crap.  Clearly, someone at one time told them it was Ok to be that way, and probably told them it was cool to drool at women, but if we actually started telling them the truth- that they are big jerks when they do that- maybe society could change to be a bit more respectable. (that was the longest sentence in the world)

15. The fact that every ad seems to have some half naked, boob jobbed, twenty year old who starves herself in it.  I do not believe her boobs are natural, nor do I believe she really eats those cheeseburgers.  Now I really don't want to buy your crap either.  Show me a real person who is dressed, and I'll think about it.

16.Shows like "punked".  Practical jokes are like tickling- they are borderline abusive.  You are enjoying watching someone in pain.

17. I just realized that most of my hates have to do with controlling people- but that might link to bullies, as well.

18. When you reallllly want to get out of the house, but can't.  and when you really want to stay home and relax but have too much to do.

19. war or violence of any kind

20.  People who think their religion is the only way.  People who judge you on your religion.

21.  People who say they are Christians, and that the bible says you can't be gay.   Then, go to the bar and drink too much, lay around the house and let their spouse do all the work (sloth), have sex peior to marriage, judge others, and all other things listed in the bible as badddd.

22.When you have a vision in your mind of what you want to buy- but can't find it when you finally have money.

23. People who let their dogs run all over- just because he sits pretty in your garage does not mean he will stay there when I walk by with my dog.  AND my dog will eat your dog. (thats why I keep her on a leash, or put her inside when I open the garage door)

24. When you run out of one ingredient and have to go to the store.

25.  That I burn a tray of cookies every time I make a batch.

Ok- that's it for today.  I could go on and on and on- I'm fairly decent at complaining.

* That's a picture of liver and onions from

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Cupcakes- the Gods' version of fair food.

I like to bake.  My real obsession is cupcakes.  Though, people are more apt to scarf down cookies in my house.  My best friend, Tricia, bought me this book:
it is the BEST! It basically starts out every recipe with a cake mix- Yeah, I am a cheater, I use cake mix.

I think Tricia bought me this book because she doesn't trust my baking abilities.  I made one stupid mistake as a teen-ager and have never lived it down (ok, two (never wear white leather to a wedding) but that's another story).

I decided to make a cake to bring to school when we were in 9th grade (I think?).  I didn't have any eggs, though.  The store was like, a whole mile away! So, I decided to just add milk because it had the same consistency as eggs, almost.  The cake came out like a cardboard pancake.  But that didn't deter me, I still put some canned frosting on it, and pretty decorations, and took it to school the next day.  I think we ended up using it as a frisbee.

Now, I am better than that.  I actually follow a recipe.  Sometimes I fiddle with it if it is a recipe for soup or some casserole, but I never fiddle with the eggs to oil ratio in a cupcake.  I even make my own butter cream frosting.  With real butter, yo.  I have some mad baking skillz now.  I just wish I had more opportunities that called for cupcakes!


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

P is for Personality

I joined a group called ABC wednesdays. (Diane Nesbitt). I know, I know, it's not really wednesday, but so what?  Next time, I'll be on time.
Today is brought to you by the letter P.

P is for Personality
I've got personality!
     Monday I went out with the ex-hubby.  We went shopping for some dresses and skirt for me, since my regular wardrobe of stretch pants can't be pulled up over my leg cast (broken leg- both lower bones).  Then we went to lunch at a cute little place.  The waitress was really sweet and since it was a restuarant/bar she was quite chatty too.  She said something about us being a cute couple, and we both cracked up- and told her we were divorced.  She asked how, and Ex decided to tell her his (incredibly wrong) version of the story.  She turned to me and said "You just don't know who you are, do you?" and I almost agreed- almost.

Wait! I do know who I am! I just wasn't the kind of girl who needed to shout from the rooftops who I was. I didn't feel I needed to force my me-ness on anyone.  There were a few rules I sorta nagged everyone into following (recycle everything, don't start fires with gasoline, and no racist jokes), I needed those rules  because if they weren't followed I feel as if I failed as a mom. Really, the kids now how rules to live by.

but I know who I am! I am a girl with Personaility! I am a mom, a born nurturer, a cat keeper, a dog petter, a furry animal of any sort lover.  I love to love, laugh, create, and enjoy.  I am a teacher, an artist, a creator, a baker and nurse.  I am smart.  I have common sense too.  I am a goofball, a dork, a graceless wonder.  I am a wonderer, a bit of a wanderer, and a witch. (I love alliteration). I am moody, depressive, and told I am stubborn (I don't see it). I need stability, don't like chance (though I will dance with her occasionally), and want to just know I am loved and adored unconditionally.

The problem is, for a time, I thought these labels were me.  Instead of just realizing that I am just wonderfully so, me! If I don't feel like being a baker today, then I don't have to be one.  If my kids are cranky and don't want to consider me Mom for a bit, that doesn't mean I am not Mom- the mom part is ingrained deep inside me and can never ever ever be erased, even by hurt and angry teenagers.

So, NO! 22 year old waitress and barkeep, I do know who I am.  I am a girl with Personality. Fabulous, wonderful, and flawed (thank goodness- who wants to be perfect?) Personality.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

May the Fourth be with you

Some people just don't get my dorky sense of humor.  Like how I enjoy celebrating March 14th with pie.  3.14=pi=pie, get it? anyway, May the Fourth be with you.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Ask Gramma about your Grammar!

This is a common complain that I have.  Most people who know me just roll their eyes as we drive down the street and I correct every stupid sign.  Yesterday, I got the same response from boyfriend.  The sign was in front of a major sporting goods chain.  I am sure the chain should employ at least one person with college smarts. Obviously, that person was not in charge of the sign.  "We got flip flops".  Really? In case this looks all good and normal to you, it should say "we have flip flops" or maybe even "We've got flip flops".  This, my friends, is the dumbing down of America- and don't you even think about blaming your elementary teachers because I clearly remember teaching students this lesson in every freaking lower grade level. You just weren't paying attention.  You were too busy putting gum in Rosie's hair.
            See that?  See the ' sign?  See the apostrophe?  Yeah, the hair belongs to Rosie.  That is why I used it.  To show a possessive.  You can use it that way too!  You can even use it to show a missed letter, as in "don't".  The apostrophe takes place of the o in do not.  See?  You may NEVER NEVER use it for the hell of it.  "We got used car's" is not correct (real sign at a dealership- ask my brother- he rolled his eyes when I told the sales guy to get rid of the apostrophe or I was gonna puke. Ok, Maybe I didn't say it exactly that way, but that's how I felt).
         I used to be a real snob about this.  My mom raised me with strict grammar rules, and it made me feel superior.  Then I started working with kids.  I noticed my spelling abilities began to crumble.  (This is a common early grade teachers' disease, we see so many mispelled words, they all start to look a bit correct).  I also started to play with grammar for fun, you know, like that lol cat, "Me eatz yer cheezeberger".  Then I started dating boyfriend.  The man is smart, let me tell you!  He can build an engine, and figure things out my brain won't even try wrapping around.  But, alas, the man can't spell. And his grammar sucks. 
       I'm less of a snob now.  However, I still withhold my snobbery for American companies.  They should not propagate poor grammar and spelling.  They are the ones that bombard our youths with advertising and brainwashing.  They can at least use spell and grammar check prior to posting anything. 
        Especially when they are paying for a sign!  Gawsh, if you are going to pay big bucks for a sign, then spell check the heck out of it, after that, ask 10 people if it is correct.  "Loose weight now" is not correct.  "Happpy hour" is not correct.  My brother pointed out many signs to us while in Korea and China.  He thinks that Asia should hire an American (who can spell) to check their signs prior to posting any of them.  I only have a picture of one of them, that I posted at the top, from the Great Wall.
       Now, please don't rant and rave about my spelling, gratutious use of commas, parenthesis, and - (whatever those are).  This is a blog.  A form of creative writing.  I call upon the secret powers of artistic license to smooth over any of my own mistakes.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Always a bridesmaid, sometimes a bride.

     Today I went to Megan's  first bridal shower.  I wondered why we have such things- is it just another ploy to get more gifts?  The answer is basically, yes.  I got this from Wikipedia (sometimes it is reliable so I use it, okay?) "The custom of the bridal shower is said to have grown out of earlier dowry practices, when a poor woman's family might not have the money to provide a dowry for her, or when a father refused to give his daughter her dowry because he did not approve of the marriage. In such situations, friends of the woman would gather together and bring gifts that would compensate for the dowry and allow her to marry the man of her choice.".   Now, the hope is that we shower the bride with gifts for her new home.
      It was a good thing for Megan.  She and Hamzah are so unlike other couples.  They both are still living with their parents and have basically no belongings other than clothing.  They just saved up and purchased a cool new sofa, and have a TV, though.  The shower guests were kind enough to bring her pots and pans, silverware, towels, a bedspread, toilet paper :), a toaster oven (or two), and her favorite, a mixer.  No lingerie though....
In return, the guests were given a big meal of fattening food
and forced to dress each other in toilet paper
but everyone went home with a prize.